Sorry, I'm not her.

Chapter 16

Chapter 16
Plan

I am silently sitting on a sonography chair where the doctor made me sit, Dr. Suarez as Gus calls him.

Naramdaman ko ang pag-alis ng transducer sa tiyan ko, at ibiniba ko na rin ang dress na kanina ay nakataas.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Alvarez," the doctor faces me and then faces Gus. "I'm sorry, Mr. Santiago." the sincerity in his voice is there and I travelled my eyes to the guy he was sorry for, the reaction cannot be put into words. "There is no sign of baby in there." the doctor confirms.

"But how?" Gus' voice is calm, but at the same time there are slow tears coming out from his eyes. But mine are still dry as hell. I cannot even act surprise, or sad, I just can't. Dahil wala talagang makikita ang doctor na kahit ano sa tiyan ko. "How did that happen, Claire?" he calls me Claire the same way Leo calls me Kia. There are meanings and emotions.

Hindi ako makapagsalita at nakatingin lang ako sa maliit na monitor na nasa harapan ko kung saan lumitaw ang resulta ng ultrasound.

"Did you abort it?" ramdam ko ang lungkot sa boses niya at rinig din ang yabag niya palapit sa'kin. "I told you, I can be a father! What the hell are you thinking?!" this time, he yells and his voice echoes. Hindi ko magawang humarap sakanya sa takot na makita niya ang mukha ko na walang reaksyon.

"Definitely, not," Dr. Suarez answered his questions he thrown at me. "There are no signs of abortion, not even pills. There are nothing. But a miscarriage can happen anytime, anywhere without the mother feeling it."

I felt dizzy again as soon as I tried to stand up. Luckily, Gus held my hand and help me push my strength out.

Lumalabas din ang pawis mula sa balat ko pero kayang-kaya ko pang tumayo at humarap sa kanila.

"These medicines will help Ms. Alvarez with the dizziness she feels which is actually normal after a miscarriage." inabot ng doctor ang reseta ng gamot kay Gus at tumalikod papasok sa pinto na mukhan private office.

Maybe I feel dizzy because I have not yet eaten my breakfast. Naalala ko na pagkagising ko kanina ay agad akong dumeretso sa Santiago. Me skipping my breakfast leads to a miscarriage situation. Really?  This is stressful as fuck.

This guy, Gus, he is a model. Like a professional one. I knew it the moment I saw the screen flashes on the outside building. He is like more handsome version of Kelly, honestly.

He is driving to the condominium named after his last name, Santiago. I'm sitting on the passenger seat as he drives.

I forgot to mention, the hospital we've been, it's named Santiago Medical Hospital. It's like everything is named Santiago.

"You really didn't abort it?" I felt his gaze travels on me and I am still facing the window.

"No," humarap ako sa kaniya at nagkita ang mga mata namin. He is driving but his eyes are on me. "And why would I?" I act, again. I have to get used to acting and lying.

"Nothing happened last night?" inalis na niya ang tingin sa'kin at tinignan na niya ulit ang daan. "Between you and Leo?" his voice has no trace of jealousy, just pure question.

"Nothing, just a—" oh shit. Should I tell him about the kiss? The french kiss we did last night? The way Leo push his tongue inside my mouth and tries to pull off my shirt?

"Just a?" he is waiting for me to continue what I was saying.

"Nothing." I smiled as he parked his black luxury car at his condominium buildings' parking lot which can be overseen at his unit.