Sorry, I'm not her.

Chapter 4

Chapter 4
Pub or Bar?

He just drove wherever he would like to go. I just let him. We didn't talk. He is just enjoying driving my car with the songs of Twenty one Pilots.

It's already 11am.

Para siyang nags-suicide sa ginagawa niya. Ayaw ko madamay sa kagustuhan niyang mamatay. He is driving my car with its full speed. Fuck!

"Can you please put it on 80, at least? Do you want to die?!" I yelled at him kasi paniguradong hindi niya ako naririnig dahil sa lakas ng tugtugan niya.

"Hey, Kelly!"

Nakakainis na.

I turned off the music.

He looked at me for just a bit of seconds pero bumalik ang tingin niya sa daan.

"Why did you turn it off? Ang ganda ng kanta, e." Kelly said. But no, hindi ko siya pinansin.

"Hey, Carol," he looked at me once again.

"Can you please drive at least 80? I still have a long life to live." I said.

"Sungit," he murmured and naramdaman kong bumagal lang ng kaunti ang pag-drive niya, pero walang matinong tao ang magd-drive nang sobrang bilis sa tanghaling tapat!

I just let him be free right now and feel even a little peace of mind. Nag-drive siya, ni hindi ko na nga alam kung saan na kami nakakarating.

He needs this, he needs to think, and I am here to guide him, pero wala akong karapatan para mangielam. It's his life after all.

He went to the nearest gasoline station and akmang babayaran ko ang boy when he hold my hand that's holding a 5 bucks and put it down.

"I'm the one who used your car. Please, let me." I just nodded.

While he was talking to the gasoline boy, I felt the vibration of my phone.

I opened it and saw messages from Harper.

From Harper:
Please come here, ASAP. Coln's having a panic attack, I am with him right now. We are inside Simona's Pub, IDK what to do. Help.

Fuck. 'Di ko rin alam ang gagawin ko, Harper. Sinabi ko kanina na pipiliin ko pa rin si Kelly no matter what, pero I don't think, magagawa ko 'yon.

Kelly looks fine naman. I think he can manage himself.

"Kelly, I've got something to do. Let's meet at Youth later 11pm, okay?"

Bumababa ako sa sasakyan without getting response from Kelly.

Panic attacks are not a joke! I was always having it when I was in junior high school. It will never be a joke.

Dahil malapit lang ang Pub na 'yon mula rito, nag-taxi na lang ako.

I went inside Simona's Pub, lumingon -lingon ako, and I saw Coln holding his chest and water is spilled on their table. Hinahabol niya ang hininga niya.

Harper is holding a wallet.

Dali-dali ako tumakbo papunta kay Coln.

I sat down at natabig ko pa ang kamay ni Harper kaya't nahulog ang hawak niyang wallet.

I sat beside Coln's and held cold and pale hands.