Make Believe with my Rockstar

We all fall down, sometimes

Audrey's POVI wake up in the twin bed and take a moment to recollect my thoughts. Last night I barely had any sleep with what Drew said. Then I came to sleep with my son. I really needed space.I get up and look at the sleeping baby then walk out to the kitchen and find another sleeping baby. He did not sleep in my room after all. He must have been up all night judging by the tray full of cigarette butts.I study his features. His forehead has a little wrinkle like he's worried in his sleep. His legs are bent and he's almost hugging them, trying to fit in the couch. He's sleeping shirtless and looks a little chilly. I go take a blanket from the room and cover him. Then I go to prepare breakfast, remembering our conversation from last night.***Last night***"Marry me" he had said. I took a while to make sense of his words.-What?! - was all I mustered.It must have come out a little harsh, cause his face had the look that told me it wasn't the answer he expected...at all!-What do you mean marry you?! - I continued, collecting my clothes and proceeding to getting dressed.He kept looking at me like I had grown another head and didn't move a muscle.-Drew? Talk to me. Elaborate. -I stood in front of him. -I...just asked you to marry me...It came out in the spur of the moment but I...Yeah...I want you to marry me... - He finally spoke, taking his time to file his thoughts in the order he wanted them to be.-I don't....not that I don't...- I exhaled, sitting in front of him, on the floor.I took his hand in mine and tried do find the proper words.-I don't think we're ready for that...neither of us. - I finally said.-Why? I know I want you.-And I want you too, but that's just too...rushed, if you know what I mean? I want us to take our time. I want us to get to know each other, to get used to each other...figure things out slowly.-You don't want to marry me. - He crossed his arms sternly.He was acting like a freaking child-Don't pull that card on me Andrew! You just got out of a marriage and I am still trying to figure out my life. That's not fair. You don't get to get angry at me after pulling that question out of thin air.He huffed and puffed and went to take a cigarette.-What if they don't approve of the dependency for Ian?That finally did it for me. I got up and went after him.-You know what? I don't give a fuck what they do. If they don't approve then I'm gonna take my kid and hop on the first plane back home. Are you blackmailing me into marriage, because of the fucking papers? Are you fucking nuts or what?!My tone was harsher than I intended, but I couldn't give a fuck right now. Was he fucking for real with what he said???!!!!He looked at me surprised at my tone but I kept going.-Don't look at me like that. You bet your ass I'd do that! You should know me better than that. And get it through you thick skull: I AM NOT going to marry you only because of some shitty papers, ok?He nodded, still kind of shocked.-This is the second time I've heard your proposal Drew...-I know...- he responded weakly-And it's the second time you mention papers right after that.-Fuck!!!- He grunted angrily. -I fucking screwed it up, didn't I?-Big time.- I nodded.-The first time I was...we were just kids. People kept telling me how I could help you come to the states and you could get your papers if we got married...and since I was a fucking lovesick puppy, I told you that shit...-Yeah...and look where it got us...almost 10 years without talking.-Dammit! Please don't do that to me again...I swear I can't survive it this time.I let out a sigh. I was angry and sad and hurt. I didn't know what I wanted right now and probably everything that would come out of my mouth would hurt him. -I'm going to bed. I will sleep with Ian tonight.That was my best option. We could talk in the morning. I needed to clear my head.-Don't sleep angry... - He whispered, trying to take my hand, but I took it away.-I'm not angry...well, not only angry...It's...I need space. We'll talk tomorrow, ok?He nodded, hurt clear in his blue eyes.***Present***-Morning!That sleepy voice startled me. I was lost in thought and didn't notice the coffee almost filling to the brim.-Coffee? - I say casually, turning to face him. He was standing too close for my liking, but I ignored it and walked past him, at put the plates on the counter.I heard him sigh but he didn't comment. His footsteps came closer and he took his plate.-I'm gonna miss your cooking. - He said, his voice almost a whisper.-What do you mean? - I raised a brow, confused at his words.-I believe it's time for me to start giving you more space. My new place is finished and ready to move in, anyway.-Oh...Did he really just say that? That hurt...it really did...but maybe it was for the best.-I'll give you space Audrey. I should have done it sooner but I just...felt home, you know.-I know...- I said trying to keep my voice strong.He put the plate in the sink and walked to Ian's room.I took my time putting the stuff in place and walked to the room too. The kid was awake, sitting on Drew's tummy. Drew laid on the bed and was playing with Ian, talking to him.-I'm gonna miss you buddy, but mami can't say no to you, can she? She'll let us hang out together. - He spoke.Ian put his little hand on Drew's cheek and what came next got to me.-I don't remember my papa. - The boy said and a tear rolled down my cheek.- But you are the best Dru. Is it why you and mommy fighting? I want you to be my papa.Drew had a shocked expression that mimicked mine. In his little English, Ian had managed to let out how he really felt and I...just don't know what to do with what I just heard.-Oh buddy, don't break my heart like that - Drew finally said and hugged the boy.I walked away from the door to give him his privacy. My heart had grown ten sizes, yet broke into a thousand pieces.