Well, Shit.

Going Home

I felt a hand on my head, I woke up slowly looking up to see who it was. Frankie, my beautiful boy.
"Good morning" his voice short and soft, rubbing my chubby cheeks with a smile.
His eyes squinted when he smiled, with small dimples and face lines.
"Good morning, baby" I chuckle, smiling and kissing him gently.
His lips were soft, he wasn't as stiff and tired as he always felt kissing back. I get up, getting my robe so I could shower.
"We're almost home baby, just an hour away" I smile.
He hugs me from behind, kissing my neck. "So soft" he breathed, holding my waist.
"Not as much as that smile you have" I chuckle, he turns red, nuzzling my head.
"I'm gonna shower, I'll be back, and aye, don't sniff my panties you freakin' weirdo" I point at him, looking at him in a jokingly way, laughing.
He turns red, putting a hand behind his neck. I get into the small bathroom, taking my robe off and turning the shower on. The water was warm, finally, I jumped in the shower, bathing and just thinking about my life.
"Help me, oh please god, tell me if my child is okay, get me away from this woman"
Who was that?!

"My love, please give me a sign, anyone give me a sign to know Selena Santiago is okay"
Mommy? I heard her voice in my head as I was bathing, closing my eyes running the water over my head. It felt relieving, so warm and comfortable against my distressed body.  I felt so.. tired, exhausted, and so unusual, I looked around, everything becoming blurry. THUD

Few minutes later..
"Baby?" Frank knocked on the door.
I gave no response. "Baby? You okay? You've been in there for a while" he banged on the door, opening it since I wasn't responding.
I laid there, eyes closed, distressed.
"BABY OH GOD" he hurriedly turned water off, taking the towel and putting me on the bed.
"Baby, wake up, baby, please!" He shakes me, feeling me.
Overheating. He preformed CPR.
Wake up, wake up I thought. I knew I was still alive but I couldn't respond. I remembered Matt, Matt and Frank's friendship, that was how we met. My mind flashed so many memories, making me wake up to the scariest of them all. Frank dying. I gasped, looking around frantically.
"FRANK, FRANKIE" I shouted, panting, looking for him.
"Woah woah, baby!  I'm here!" he says sitting me up, helping me put my clothes on.
"Oh baby, I passed out and I was really scared. Someone kept calling my name, and you died" I look at him, eyes glossy because I wanted to cry.
"Shhh, it's okay, you're okay" he says looking into my eyes, cupping my face.
I look at him, nervous, cold but warm in some areas.
"No no no, not tears, I'm not leaving you, and never ever will, not ever again" he says in a comforting voice.
I listened to his soft voice, he was calm and I knew he wasn't angry. A small little tear slid down my soft skin, I smiled slightly, hugging him close. "There's my little girl" he chuckles, kissing my head.
"I love you Frankie" I held his hand, kissing it.
"I love you more" he smiles.
"Now come on, let's get the rest of your clothes on" he laughs, helping me get my clothes on since I was still shaking.

"Come on! Get out of the way!" Frank shouted, he has road rage like any other man would.

That triggered a memory, a memory that I hate so much. Something I didn't share with Frank cause I was so scared. But he just.. I don't know, reminded me of it. I felt so uncomfortable and scared. His friend, Billy Russo.. he raped and wants me to be his girl. Now y'all know the feud of Frank and Billy with his previous family being killed. I wasn't gonna let him get incredibly angry, I wanted to get my revenge. He was associated with my father, Trey Santiago, when he worked with the FBI.

"Frankie, you can go through this route instead it's the backroad" I point, looking up at the light so he didn't get confused.
"You sure" he looked at me with a angry tone.
I nodded, he swerved out of the lane, speeding into the other lane.
"Frankie, don't be angry.." I fade off, gulping.
I honestly had to tell him about the incident. It wasn't my fault, he forced me.
"What, what did you do" he scoffs, his voice turning angry, looking at me every chance he could.
My palms became sweaty, me feeling a pit of guilt in my chest. I fidgeted, playing with my hands nervously. I was terrified to tell him what had happen but it needed to be said.
"What. IS. IT" his voice turning even angrier.
He was impatient, sometimes at least. We all have our flaws, and differences. I was like him sometimes too.
"I need to tell you something-"
"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!" He shouted.
I flinched, gulping and crying softly.
"I-I got r-raped!" I cry out, sobbing.
His eyebrows furrowed, looking at me in confusion but angry.
"What do you mean? When? Where?! How?!" He asks, his eyebrows narrowing, making fists. 
"R-remember that nice a few weeks ago when I was wearing a dress" I croak, sniffling and wiping my tears.
He pulled over, looking at me intensely. I was so afraid to tell him.
"Yes the best night of my life? What happened" his eyes dilating, holding my hands.
Tears streamed, me swallowing my guilt.
"I was raped by Billy, Billy Russo, he faked his death and wanted me to be his girl" I whispered, deeply inhaling every bit of air I could.
His eyes dilated to it's full capacity, clenching his fists angrily, turning red with his neck veins popping out.
"Baby, baby" I held his face, looking exactly like Maria in his eyes.
He looked down, feeling guilty. "That son of a bitch" he yells, banging a fist against the dashboard.
"Let it out baby" I whisper, both of us crying in anger and sadness.
He squeezed me, putting his face in my chest, screaming in anger. I rubbed the back of his neck, trying to get him to calm down.
"Shhh" I say, scratching his head with his short curly hair.
"Why didn't you tell me"
"Well, cause I wanted to" I make a disappointed face "Obviously I didn't know what to do or how to tell you" I add on, getting heated.
He narrows his eyes, looking at me since I slightly yelled at him.
"Don't speak to me in that tone" he lifts my chin high to look at him.
I felt a burn in my hands, it felt like w burning fire.
"Well, don't make it seem like it's my fault, I was afraid of how you were gonna react" My words trail off as he starts the car back onto the road.
"I'm not making it seem like it's your fault at all" His voice deepens, snarling at my remark.
"I'M SORRY! I'M JUST SCARED" my voice cracks, swallowing my tears.
"SCARED OF WHAT! HE'S NOT GONNA HURT YOU!" he shouts.
My anger wanted to burst and it did, I couldn't contain it, and I was indefinitely gonna feel guilty for this. I was scared of Frank, I was scared of what he could do, and I was afraid of being hurt because of everyone knowing I was his, and could possibly target me.
"I-I'm scared of you! I'm scared of us!" I shout louder than him, making him quiet down and listen.
"I'm scared because I was targeted three times while I was at work, and that day, I came home from work and told you I had anxiety, it was because that was the day Billy r*ped me" My voice shakes, with a small tear streaming down my left eye, identifying that I was sad.
Frank was quiet, unusually quiet like the start of our relationship. He seemed to be disappointed, and annoyed, like the Punisher look he always used to do. After a few minutes, he quietly spoke.
"I wish.. you would've told me" he said,  holding my hand.
"I'm sorry" I look at him, kissing his hand.
"I'm sorry I pulled you into this.. but I don't think I should be with you, I put you in too much danger" he says, looking down, eyes filling with tears.
"Baby, I don't wanna leave you" He looks at me, holding my hand close.
"I can't be with you anymore"  he says, pulling into a intersection on a highway.
"But, what about our family" I choke on my words, sharply cutting them.
"It will always be around, but please, get out"
"What?" I ask, frightened by the fast cars honking behind us.
"Get. Out. NOW" he shouts, pushing me on my back out of the car in the patch of grass under a sign.
He threw me out of his car, speeding away. Everything I dreamed, crushed in one morning. I sat in the patch, crying loudly, I had no idea how or where I was gonna get out, but it had to be soon. It was getting dark, a thunderstorm soon enough. I ran to the side of the emergency zone of the highway, safely making it onto a street.
New London, CT it quoted on the sign.
I look up to the sky, wind hitting my teary filled eyes, looking at the dark clouds starting to form. Was I the problem, or was it just my life. Memories were forming into little snips as I walked to the city. The rain started drizzling down my back onto my tank top. The setting sounded like a beautiful violin at a fancy restaurant as if you were brokenhearted. And I was, the one who was left alone.
"God, why me!" I shouted, falling onto my knees, crying in distress.
The rain started pouring as I shouted, overthrowing my words. A puddle formed around my balled up form, I cried loudly. I loved Frank so incredibly much, and all I had to do was say one thing and he flipped out. Just like I imagined, I kicked every single bench I could find, raging and crying cause I was angry at myself for ruining another relationship.
"The time is now, come to me darling" a voice called in my head.
My nose became red, my body pale and cold, I shivered horribly trying to gain shelter somewhere nearby. 7/11 was nearby, I found a few dollars in my pocket, the cashier gave me a slushy. I smiled, grabbing it and starting to walk home. Mommy's home, my step-mom and mother's house. I forgot how terrible Connecticut drivers were, I was splashed at least 4 times completely drenched in the dirty road water.
"COME ON!" I shouted, looking down at the pavement.

After about 45 minutes I was finally at Mommy's house. A strange man in black followed behind me, I didn't know who it was so I minded my business.
"God stood me up, lights are on, but nobody's home, there ain't no love, like our love" I sang, spinning around on the sidewalk enjoying the rain.
It felt nice to be alone, and happy again. Not worried, sad at least in that moment, and in danger. Thunder rumbled in the distance, I smiled so big and laughing at the breezy wind flowing my body.
"Thank you Emilia" I smiled, giving her a heart.
A warm breeze of heat spread against my face, signaling she was around me.
"There ain't no love, like our love" I sang silently, walking up the porch stairs to Mommy's house.
I look down, seeing that she was expecting me and Frank. The door opened slowly, as her sad eyes looked at my body posture.
"I made it" I smiled, turning into tears.
"SELENA" she screamed, hugging me and crying closely.
I sobbed, crying hard into her arms. She kissed my head, looking into my eyes. She brought me inside, quickly grabbing a towel since I was drenched.
"Is he coming?" She asked, lifting my chin up to look at her.
My bottom lip trembled, looking at her with my heart aching.
"Oh god, baby" she hugged me again, I sat there, sobbing down into her shoulder, shakily breathing and trying my best not to cry out even louder than before.
"Come on darling, let it out, you're body says you're not well" she puts her head on mine, cupping my face with her palms.
I screamed loudly, sobbing and choking onto my tears. Her eyes filled with tears seeing my depressing face. I look up, uncontrollably crying out loudly.
"I'm sorry, so so sorry" she kisses my head, just like Maria used to do when I was little.
Maria, I miss you so much. God I wish you were still here, I miss you more than ever.
I heard a feminine shout, and a BAM upstairs. I ran upstairs skipping as many stairs as I could. It was Mommy, real Mommy. She laid there, gushing out and her eyes looking around. A man in black, looked at me holding me at gunpoint.
"DON'T MOVE OR YOU'LL GET IT TOO!" he shouts, his voice familiar and deep as I knew it.
Billy. Billy Russo.
"WAIT WAIT WAIT! DON'T SHOOT!" I shouted, holding my hands out.
He pulled his mask off, and as I knew it, it was Billy. Momma stood behind me, screaming at Mommy laying bloody. He looked aside, shooting Momma in cold blood. I tried to block her but she threw me and took the bullet. I screamed, looking at her. He looked down at me, smirking and slightly smiling.
"WHY! WHY THEM! IT COULD BE ME! YOU SHOULD'VE SHOT ME! NOT THEM! THEY DID NOTHING! IT'S ME YOU WANT!" I cried out, trying to gain myself after the traumatic event.
"Come here" he whispers, motioning a hand to come to him.
I look at him, mourning the deaths of my mothers.
"Call Frank, right now" he says, grabbing me by my wrist.
I blocked the hit, grabbing him by his shoulder and yelling and throwing him outside of the window on the 2nd floor. CRASH
His body laid there for a second before he got up again. There I was one step ahead, gulping and distressed.
"H-hey!" He shouts.
I grunt, stepping my boot onto his throat, shoving my gun up onto his throat. Sirens wailed just down the street, tears shed down my eyes.
"My beautiful Selena, do your best, be who you are" Maria's voice ran through my head.
I blinked, seeing Mommy and Momma looking down. I gulped hard, covered in blood.
"DO IT PUSSY!" Billy shouted, spitting blood onto my jeans.
"SELENA!" Frank's voice shouted from the driveway.
I looked over, distracted, and Billy grabbing me by my waist and reversing the move I was in. He shot me on the stomach, my life was over. I shouted, pointing the gun at Billy and shooting him on the head.
"SELENA!" he shouted again, running up the backside of the deck.
I was shot in the neck too.
"SELENA, NO,NO,NO,NO" he cried, grabbing my body, and putting his head into my chest.
"K-kill me now.. I'll regenerate..." I croak, putting my shaky hand on his face.
"No,no, I'm gonna getchu out of here" his voice soft and tears streaming.
"I'll be back..I love you" I croak, holding his hand.
He looked into my eyes, shaking horribly.
"I love you more" he whispers, putting his head into my chest.
My stomach moved, the unborn baby was still alive. I was hiding the pregnancy all along.
He looked down, kissing my stomach and crying.
"She'll be back darling" Momma's voice said, holding her stomach.
Frank helped her up, hugging her tightly, Mommy was in the kitchen fixing up a good dinner. She healed, but this was gonna take a while, for me.
"Well, shit. We've got work to do" Frank chuckled, giving Momma a kiss on the cheek.