TW: self hate, body dysmorphia, ED, blood, implied suicide, sh, mentions of trauma, swearing
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Fuck it.
The person I see in the mirror doesn't look like me. Red, puffy eyes with bitter tears streaming down their eyes. Curled in a ball, so pathetic, not liking anything about themselves.
Pathetic was a brutal word for this emotion.
My arms wrapped around my legs tightly and my nails dug into my skin and bled.
I gasp for air but nothing seems to fill my lungs, leaving them bone dry. Why couldnt my shit life be over now? i want to die but i cant find myself fully commiting through with my plans.
The mirror shows a fat person, 350 pound looking person who is on average. A person who cant find happiness in anything except for the pain of the blade. A person who wants to be skinny, but cant stop eating. A person that looks like shit, one who ate one piece of candy without checking calories.
A shit person whos life is crumbling down quickly and fast. No hope, no life, no pain but so much relief.
But the person isnt overweight, the person isnt underweight, one whos on average but sees that image distorted into a overweight person with fat.
A dumb bitch who wants friends but cant talk to anyone. A bitch who only cares about themselves, and doesnt care for others.
A dumb bitch in the mirror who didnt check the calories.
A dumb bitch who invalidates their 'trauma' and validates others.
Cant the person in the mirror learn to love themselves?
But they cant even seem to stay in reality.
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270 words
This one was a lot lol. Should i publish this, yes u should
