Hurt&Pain/Peace&Love

Exhausted

Beyoncé's POV
October 24, 2016
Huston, TX
Grand Hospital
7:39 AM

It all happened so fast. One minute we were all laughing, and the next she was on the ground. Eight shots, two daggers, and four darts that contained some type of drug. Micheal got grazed on his arm, but the doctor said all he needed was some stitches. Megan got shot in both feet, and was immediately rushed to surgery along with Azah. Megan is recovering back at home, but Azah remains in the hospital. It all feels like a dream that I can't wake up from, and I can't do anything about it. All I wondered about was who would do this? Why would they do it? Was they after us? Or somebody else, and we just so happened to get caught in the cross fire? I get that Azah has a target on her back, because of what she's done to Chris and Shawn, but was this really meant for her? The one night we get lit together, is the same night we get hurt together. The same night everything in our lives feel apart, the same night we lost our minds. Even though most of us came out with no injuries or wounds or scars, mentally we was dead inside. Nun of us went to school Thursday or Friday, but we all made sure to check in with one another. We were all scared about what could happen next, and the more she stayed sleep the more we panicked. I've been in this hospital with Mama C since that night, but I went home yesterday to get some new clothes and to shower and grab some stuff to bring back with me.

"Beyoncé I'm going to go get me some coffee, can I bring you back anything?" Mama C asked me, and I shook my head no.

"No thank you Mama C, I'm fine." I said and she smiled at me and left out, and that's when I felt the tears fall from my eyes. "Why is it always you? Why does this always happen to you Azah? Why do you always have a big target on your back? Why do so many people want you to die? Why can't they leave you alone? I just want to look at you without having to worry about you getting hurt the next day. That constant fear of loosing you the minute I let you go, that fear one day I'll wake up and you'll be dead right next to me or away from me. Why can't we stay alive together? Me and you right? Don't leave me baby, please don't go? I just-" I cut myself off crying into her shoulder, and then I heard the door open.

"Oh Beyoncé sweetie what happened?" Mama C asked me coming in, and she helped me up hugging me.

"I just want her to live without constantly having to go through stuff like this. I need her, you need her, the whole world needs her. She can't die yet Mama C, she can't leave us." I cried out, and Mama C tried to calm me down.

"Shh shh Beyoncé everything is going to be okay, Azah's going to be fine. We both know that she's been through way worse, and has come back stronger every time. She's going to come back you just got to believe, don't loose faith in her yet baby just keep believing in her how she believes in you." Mama C said as she rubbed my back as I cried, and soon I calmed down.

"Thank you Mama C. I'll keep believing in her." I said as I looked up at her, and she smiled at me.

My mom came and picked me up from the hospital, and I went to go stay with her. She wants me to go to the movies with Solange Ella and Moon, she said it might help me take my mind off of Azah. Until then she wants me to try and get some sleep, because of the four days I haven't slept at all. I tried but every time I close my eyes all I see is her getting shot, all I hear are those same guns that she was shot with going off. All I feel is her blood on my hands when I dropped down to her, and all I smell is her cent slowly being covered with blood. I've always had PTSD, but this made it even worse. Before it took me a while to go to sleep, but now I close my eyes and they instantly open because of those images. I try my hardest not to scream, but it's hurts so much that I can't hold it in.

"BB?" I heard a voice call for me.

"Yes come in." I said and Solo came in the room.

"I heard screams, are you okay?" She asked and I didn't know what to say.