|𝗗𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗠𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘀| 𝙽𝚋𝚊 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚋𝚘𝚢

Acknowledgement

"Babyboy you stay on my mind, fullfill my fantasies."
                    -Queen Bey 💞

India James
Baton Rouge, Lousiana
6:39 pm.

•
•
•

Kentrell and I sat in silence as Netflix was playing in the background. We havent seen each other in a long time and i knew it would be awkward and i didnt expect him to know what to say to me.

Im ok with knowing that he wasnt like everyone else. Bombarding me with questions. I liked the silence at least.

"Let's catch up lil mama, how you been since you got back?" I managed to put on a fake smile. As much as i hated lying to people it was what i had to do to protect myself.

My pride got in the way too much for me to be letting my guard down.

Ill cry in private not in public.

So i lied. "I doing ok, better at least." He nodded his head. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasnt satisfied with my answer and that he wanted to know more but he left it alone.

"How about you? Mr. Rockstar." He laughed and shook his head.

"Mane India this shit like a dream shawty. Ian ever got as much love as i get from my fans. Shit crazy." I watched as he smiled. He was so happy. And i was happy for him too.

"My head aint been in a good space lately so i make music to drown that shit out. Music my happy place." He said smiling looking at me.

I took in every feature of the new and improved Kentrell.

The heavy chains on his neck , the diamonds in his teeth, the tattoos on his arms and face, his dreads grew longer, he got taller. He wasnt the same Kentrell i knew from when we were kids.

It was a good feeling to see him all grown up.

"Hows mama Sheronda?" He smacked his teeth and mugged the air.

Kentrell always hated talking about his mother. She treated him and Kendell like utter shit when they were kids. Always putting a man before them.

Since we were young Kentrell always felt like he didnt need a mother to support him. All he needed was himself.

I always had to remind him that that wasnt the way the world worked. 

"Mane Sheronda aight, ian spoke to ha and ion want too." I nodded my head. I completely understood but i wish they could both come to an understanding with one another.

"Kendell?" I asked. He laughed.

"Mane Kendell lil bad ass aight. He got his first car now he dont know how ta ack." I giggled. I always knew Kendell was gonna grow up to be like his brother, always doing some dumb shit.

They twins for real Not in a bad way tho. We all have our flaws and have room to fix it. I couldnt blame neither one of them.

"Yeen change one bit either shawty." He smiled. I gave him a weak smile back and sighed loooking down at my fingers.

But i did change. He didnt realize it yet but im no longer the same India he knew from when we were kids.

I dont even know who i am anymore. Its really fucked up. Why me? I always ask myself that.

He noticed my fidgeting and came closer. He didnt hug me but he took my hand and held it.

For the first time i felt relaxed. I look at him.

"Ion know whatchu going through shorty, but you gon make it out. Promise you." I smiled at him.

I hope i can make it out. Im being haunted. Im stuck in a dark place that i cant seem to get out of.

I hope i can find myself.

He pulled me into a hug. I tensed at first and relaxed after. Being in his arms made me feel a certain comfort. I didnt know what it was at first but he was warm. Like I wanted to stay in this position forever.

"You getting comfortable?" He laughed and i rolled my eyes nodding. Kentrell said nothing else, letting me stay in this position. He rubbed my back.

I pressed my head into his chest, listening to his heart beat.

I felt some slight happiness.

Distant Melodies IV....
1/30/22