An Old Fashioned book two Full Circle Series

Fear

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Chapter 12

Frankie

The dreams just don't stop. I seem to be taking my nightmare situation and making it worse. Remembering his hands on me, the hot garlic scent of his breath, it made me gag, repulsed. The fear iced my veins, making me shiver, cold, alone, dark and in fear, in my own bed. It's all so real, running repeatedly, in my head. Every time I close my eyes, I see his face. I can't escape.

I've taken five showers in the last twenty four hours. The water burns me, I have the temperature so hot. My skin is raw, red, sore and bruised, black and blue marks are on my hip, my arms, and face. I can't scrub away the feeling hard enough in the shower to erase my memory. I can still feel his hands on me.

I was attacked. I could have been raped or worse. I was fortunate I was able to fight back. I was running on pure adrenaline when I kicked and punched my way out. I won't allow anyone to force me to do anything. I will always fight back. I need to thank Mitch one of these days soon for pushing me into taking those self defense classes. I wouldn't have gotten away without them.

I was lucky, that's what the police said, when I gave my statement last night. They said because of Daniel's size, my size, and how he could have easily overpowered me. I was lucky to have kept my head and used what I have been taught to escape. I don't feel lucky. I feel dirty, used, and worthless.

When I think logically about it, I know I'm smart, I'm logical and strong. I know this. When I'm not in the middle of my freak out, I know this. Today, I just don't feel it. I feel weak, powerless, and dirty. I can't get the hard grip of his hands off my body, I can't get the smell of his body, sweat and God, garlic, out of my head. I remember it and want to throw up. I don't know if I will ever be normal again.

Tyler has tried to sit with me, but even his presence is bothering me. I don't want to be around any males. The men in the Bradford family are all big, strong, and remind me of what happened. They scare me and I'm surrounded by them. I know, in the back of my head, I know, they won't hurt me. But I'm not being logical, rational right now. I'm afraid. That fear is controlling me.

I've stayed curled up in my bed for the morning. I don't want to leave the safety of this room. At least with the door locked, I know no one can get to me. Not that the Bradford's would hurt me. They won't, but it doesn't change how I feel. Logic is not in my head right now, only fear.

When the lock clicks and my door slowly opens, I back-crawl up against the headboard. Pulling the covers over my body to protect myself. When I see the blonde poke her head in and give me a sympathetic smile, I ease down. I know her. I've met her before, at the bar and here. She's someone's wife. Cathy? Karen? I don't remember.

"I'm Chelsea. We met when you first got here. I'm Matt's wife." She carries in a tray with breakfast on it. "I made you some tea, and toast. I thought you might be hungry. Blake said you wouldn't eat last night."

Setting the tray on the chest at the foot of the bed, she sat down at the foot and touched my leg. Instantly, I curled my legs under me. Recoiling in fear, which is stupid. She's not going to hurt me, on a sane level I know that.

"Sorry. I just don't want to be touched." I feel bad about my reaction, but I can't change how I feel. Looking away from her, I dropped my head and stared at my lap. I finally got my own life, and I've failed.

"I understand. I've been in your shoes." Her admission has my eyes darting to meet hers. "I was in an abusive relationship for years. I think I was always afraid of someone touching me, at least until I was able to get out of it."