Trail.
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Perhaps leaving like that was the dumbest thing he have done yet. Cause barely even 3 hours into the walk, Jeongin laid flat down on his back eyes clenching close as he bit his lip to prevent any form for loud noise to fill up the silence of the forest.
To lift the confusion a bit, Jeongin had started to feel his ankle hurting again, hint to why he chose to sit down in the first place. But, eventually he started feeling pain many other place such as his hip, which felt like a million knifes stabbing into it. At this point he was beyond a miserable state, he felt no energy rush through his body in any form of way. And he gotta admit it, he felt stupid and pathetic to choose to leave in the first place.
And at this point he'd gladly retrieve back, there was only one issue. And that was that Hyunjin probably wouldn't spend his time on helping him again, and Jeongin would be completely understanding to that. But right now he actually missed having some shelter, and he deeply regretted whatever he had previously spat at Hyunjin, knowing that this was all his own fault. He needed to get himself together, to stop being so stubborn and bratty, but it was truly hard for him but then again it doesn't justify anything he said nor done.
So without any form for energy, hope and achievement, he laid on the ground the cold and muddy ground, clinging to the hoodie that covered his body as dirt covered his whole body including spots on his face. Droplets of rain started to fall onto his face, the forest large trees barely keeping the rain from showering down onto the ground, and the young boy laying in misery.
And so he was indeed in misery, he himself was the cause of it..he himself is the misery. And at this point he felt no hope for himself. With days spend looking at a blank spot in the wall, wanting to practically dissappear. For a whole month or two, his spend his time on barely even doing anything, his foot having little to no improvement in healing, and when it finally did, even more complications showed up, and he was the cause of it all.
He truly believe that he did not deserve the help Hyunjin had offered him, and he'd practically loose it if he continues to get that help offered in the future.
Or perhaps there was no future for him at all? He left all the help and opportunities he had to actually retrieve back to a decent life in the city, but him being the fucking misery itself, really did not help the fact that he clearly pushed that change even further away, and by now..he was definitely the problem, and he knew it, but he had little to no idea how to improve himself..he wanted one final chance in becoming a better person of himself.
But with laying on the ground, soaked with with dirt covering his body. The sounds of wind rustling through the leaves on the trees, was enough to make him feel some sense of life, but did he have any energy to actual get up and go on? No, he did not. He was in a bunch of pain, that shot it's way through his whole body, he was definitely going to catch a bad cold, and he may perhaps not have no future at all..maybe this was in fact his final chance, and even though he didn't like that thought he had to accept it.
Maybe there really was no way back to normal life, maybe he'd never leave this mountain for the rest of his life..and really, was the city and the same old life really what he wanted back? Or did he purely feel secure in it cause he was familiar to the surroundings there? Maybe if he really want one more and final chance to make it all better..he should really work hard for it, maybe it was about time he should get up despite the unbearable pain, and actually search for help.
Funny how he know chooses that was the only option to save himself from losing everything he didn't even own..but at this point pride and effort was the only thing he did not want to lose, even though he may have worked stupid and irresponsibly, he did in fact work hard, he went through hell, and going through that hell did have its cons, but it surely taught him stuff no one could ever had taught him in person.
And was he surely ready to give himself that chance in actually seeking help and get himself build up together again? Or was this just another pathetic, stupid and irresponsible attempt in satisfying his own mind with fucking everything up?
He really didn't hope so.
