Chased.
_________________________
Jeongin felt a bit unsure before connecting their lips again, it's been awhile since they shared a sincere one..he didn't even know what it meant, but he honestly hoped that it was romantically meant..and not just for sexual tension. After all Jeongin hoped that Hyunjin knew how sensitive he was, his finally getting love and affection, and it is such an amazing feeling..he didn't wanna be screwed over.
The kiss felt off in a way, like it had no meaning to it..it was cold and motionless, Jeongin felt completely empty when they pulled away from each other, staring for a few seconds before standing up for once, looking over his shoulder towards the open door that usually held warmth inside.
He didn't know if he should cry, or complain..was it on purpose that the kiss felt so meaningless, or was Hyunjin just as unsure as he was? He deeply hoped that Hyunjin was just unsure in himself, he hoped that the taller wouldn't screw him over, he wanted to feel so loved..but why didn't he feel it now? Why was this time different.
"Jeongin?" Hyunjin stood up as well, as he stepped towards the younger who just stared at the wooden blanks beneath their feet. "Let's get inside..it's cold" Hyunjin spoke, attempting to push the younger inside.
Of course Hyunjin felt it too..how empty and lost that kiss was, how cold and emotionless it all felt..he felt genuinely bad he didn't want it to be seen that way..he just didn't know what to do with himself, he felt the urge to yell, but he kept it in..for the younger's sake and of course his own.
"I-..no-".
"Stop Jeongin! It's enough now..you can't just act so fucking stubborn and immature, the argument wasn't that serious so stop being so insensitive about it..I'm sorry, but really..I've been running around, saving your ass while you gave me a horrible attitude..I'm trying to help you here, but you won't butch, it's cold out here and dangerous, please for the sake of yourself, get inside and take a warm shower..you need it" Hyunjin complained as he raised his voice loud and clear for Jeongin, who immediately backed away in shock as his eyes widened in shock as they shone from the tears he held back.
"F-fuck you" Jeongin whimpered out as he stood still, not knowing whether he had to guard himself or simply run..he didn't want to run..that would be problematic, and he really wanted to get away from that chapter in life.
Hyunjin felt his heartbeat at those words..instead of feeling upset he felt sorry, he probably shouldn't have called Jeongin insensitive for something that wasn't his fault..but he felt so aggravated when he spoke, that he felt the need to complain, yet he failed badly.
"Jeongin..i-i..I'm sorry, it was stupid of me to say, I mean it..I feel so bad, I'm just tired and annoyed..not annoyed by you, just annoyed by the cold and how tired I am-".
"No" Jeongin shook his head as he seated himself on the staircase, eyes clenching close as he fought hard to hold back his tears from spilling over.
He sat as he placed his head onto his knees, eyes dropping to the wooden staircase he sat on, seeing the small flowers growing beneath it..he couldn't help but to repeat Hyunjin's words again, maybe he was right? Maybe he was indeed insensitive? Useless and a stupid child? He felt so idiotic..he hated himself so fucking much.
Nothing in this whole world seemed to atleast make him feel at ease, maybe for a moment but then that's it. And he was sure he was the main cause behind it.
The blanket that was wrapped previously around his body, laid on the ground as if it was nothing but a stupid cloth that did nothing but bring him down..but in reality it brought him warmth, the house brought him warmth..Hyunjin brought him warmth, fuck...this wasn't his home at all..nothing out here was, but Hyunjin..yes Hyunjin was indeed his own place, his own home, somewhere he could be comfortable..he screwed up..again.
Hyunjin sighed in defeat as he was about to retrieve to the door, not wanting to leave the younger at all..but he didn't know why his body was acting against his brain, he felt frustrated. He wanted to embrace Jeongin, but his legs only brought him further towards the door..going against his brains will.
"Hyunjin..don't go, I'll come inside now.." Jeongin sniffed as he wiped his tears, not realizing that they actually had started falling.
But now he was left with two questions. Did he only go inside because he knew Hyunjin had the power to save him..again
Or was he genuinely craving for the taller to look at him?
