Reversed.
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There was nothing to say, to do, or to feel. Hyunjin was out grocery shopping. And Jeongin said in bed..still naked and covered in old sweat, his hair messy and filthy, the sheets smelled of sex and sweat, but he kept burying his face into them..the windows were clearer, and the day light has shined through it.
They barely got sleep, but that was Noa rare occurrence. Jeongin didn't want to stop yesterday, but passing out after a fourth orgasm had a hit on him. So Hyunjin of course didn't continue.
He could feel the pain in his lower region, it was sore and burned. The rest of his body was on fire as well, leaving him walking like a corpse who woke up from the death. He sigh in frustration as he settled on taking a shower, standing up as he felt the chilly air come in contact with his naked body. He pulled out some of Hyunjin's clothes, figuring he'd feel more comfort in them, than his own.
Nothing was much to say, he needed a shower..he smelled of sex and sweat, his hair was greasy and filthy, and he overall needed to relaxation of a warm shower.
He walked into the bathroom, and didn't bother locking the door..he turned around and placed the clothes on the counter..looking up at the mirror to see his own reflection. He looked fucked. The hickyes covered his skin like purple bruises from a fight, he had red marks and bruises from were Hyunjin held on to him, and he had dark circles under hid eyes, his lips swollen and his eyes puffy.
"I hate myself" He spoke to his reflection, tearing up as the thought dominated his mind. He was now officially together with Hyunjin, he wanted to break down and cry. Why did he agree? He knew he'll regret it sooner or later..was he that bad of a person?
He shook his head as he turned to the shower, shaking his head as he couldn't understand how his favorite person, was someone he despised so much. His mood really switch in the span of two seconds..he was a horrible person.
"Fuck this..I'll just wait and get out of this fucked up place..I'll never find peace anyways..stupid of me for even trying, I'm fucking pathetic" Jeongin sighed as the warm water dripped onto his body, as he avoided the mirror at all cost.
"I'm so sorry Hyunjin..I really am..I'm only gonna ruin you and fuck this up..sad how we could have been so perfect if I chose a different route" Jeongin spoke to himself, washing himself clean with water and soap, shampooing his hair twice to get everything out. "What am I even saying, we were never meant to be".
He couldn't tolerate his thoughts anymore. He dropped to the ground of the shower, curling up as he couldn't help but to cry out of frustration. He belonged nowhere, he belonged in his own degrading mind, where he was left with nothing but pure chaos..he was the chaos.
"I love you..I really do. I love you to the point I hate you, I can fucking do this..what did I get myself into?" Jeongin cried, clutching his hair as he tried to focus on the pain on his scalp, instead of the pain in his heart and mind. "What is happening with me?".
He knew he was an awful jerk, he didn't want to hurt Hyunjin..but they aren't meant to be, he knew that..he could feel it..and he wasn't going to deny those feelings..he needed to atleast enjoy the lasting time he had with the taller..before God knows what, would screw it over. But in the end, it would be a 100% his own fault.
