Home.
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It's been a whole week since they were at Chan's place. They haven't heard much other than they are currently living with Felix. Nothing was heard from Chan's wife, but something inside of Jeongin hopes that she is somewhat okay, even after risking Chan's and Alia's lives. He thought the situation was messy. The original plan was only to go and give Chan's wife that stupid medicine, and then back home again. But they stayed longer than that.
He is just happy his home. One more hour in that house, and he would finally be done with everything. The thought lingered in his brain as he laid still in the bed. He thought of how he never really called this his home, his bed, his kitchen or anything..but he lived here..he knew he lived here..but the longing to actually retrieve back was forming in a small black ball inside him. Home sick, he was home sick.
He didn't want to tell Hyunjin, he didn't want to concern him. Heck, what was Hyunjin even to him. They shared hugs, kisses..yet even sex a few times sex. But he didn't know their relationship status. His mind was running like a waterfall, unstoppable. He wanted to move, to scream or yell at the top of his lungs..everything was so difficult, just out of the blue. He was doing just fine..now he was a mess, confused and stressed. What was the point of this? He didn't like this chapter of life, he hated having to find himself and his route, he never seen the point in it. He just wanted to sway away, like a weightless feather in the wind.
"Hey Jeongin, wanna join baking?" Hyunjin spoke, as he entered the room quietly, looking at Jeongin for a split second before a frown decorated his face.
Fuck. Just fuck. He didn't want to concern the taller, he was a mess and it could be seen.
"No" he replied shortly, taking a deep breath before turning away from Hyunjin, back facing the taller as he pulled the blanket over his head.
There was no reply at all..though, he felt the bed sink beside him, a pair of warm arms snaking around his waist as he felt a warm breath by his neck. Jeongin teared up, holding onto the taller's hands for support and further warmth.
"You don't need to talk right now, we can lay in bed till you're ready to open up" Hyunjin spoke calmly, letting the younger think everything through before opening up.
And he did. He started thinking and falling deep into his mind. He felt his chest slowly rise and fall, as he let the tears drop from his eyes.
Maybe he should retrieve back? Maybe that would settle his mind down a bit. He had no money, he owned nothing..but why thinking about staying hurt so much? He thought he found peace in this house. But is his feelings temporary? Was it all a dream..did this place even exist? He wondered if it was worth it..he didn't know. Should he stay or leave?..what would Hyunjin think? What if he waited, patiently? Would it make him feel down to earth..he didn't know.
Kisses were placed on his shoulder, hand slipping from his tight grip, as they rubbed his waist, pulling him closer to the taller's chest.
"I want to forget everything" Jeongin spoke through his soft tears. "Help me forget Hyunjin, take me away please" He begged.
Hyunjin's hand slipped under his shirt, caressing his stomach. His kisses were filled with poison, getting him high on them.
"Everything for you".
"Take me away now".
