Shell.
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The walk back to Hyunjin's place was quiet, neither of the boys spoke to each other. Jeongin was in deep thought, wondering about his life back at home..he wondered if he was announced missing, or if his family was still searching for him? He didn't know how long he's been up here, he assumed it was either about to be summer or it already was summer. All he knew was that he rarely checked the calender.
He didn't want to be missing or searched for..So he hoped he wasn't the attention of everyone. He hated that though, he sighed, hopelessly as they walked in the warm, humid forest. Branches breaking beneath their feet as the sun was shining through the tall, greasy trees.
Felix was an odd person. And Jeongin have gotten to learn the latter's behaviour..or atleadt he thinks so. Felix was weird, said weird stuff, did weird stuff..and even acted weird. His persona felt complex to him, like he sometimes doubles himself, he swing in moods, and isn't delighted to take comebacks...he was a weird one..someone who you couldn't trust.
But even so he tried to understand the abnormal behaviour, trying to understand what made Felix..Felix.
He groaned even he spotted a familiar hill. He remembered the last time he went up that hill- or well climbed..he thought of how stupid and impulsive he was. He kinda wanted to make sure he wasn't the same problematic asshole, as he was back when he first came.
That got him thinking..he didn't belong here at all..sure he got used to the place and he liked it here. But he in no way belonged to this place, even if he wanted to stay..he got a feeling that it may not be forever.
But was that important for now? He just needed Hyunjin right? He just needed his warm arms and comfort..his angelic smiles..he needed the one person that never seemed to let him sink down to the rock bottom.
He picked on his nails, drawing blood as he peeled skin off of them..he couldn't help but to whine. Everything sucked, but at the same time he couldn't help but to live in that euphoric fantasy that seemed to draw him in. Like a small potion that was made to mess with his head. Like a little spell the punctured his lungs and heart whenever he acted like a fool, a complete asshole.
But what if he was indeed just an asshole, what if he wasn't meant to be anything else than that. He wanted to feel appreciated..he didn't feel good enough, affectionless..though Hyunjin always had warm arms.
Was he getting too used? Too concentrated on pure validation. He needed hope and help, he needed an reliable source..he hoped Hyunjin would be..but he feared he wouldn't..and he feared living in the bottom of the woods, scared and scarred.
Felix seemed to not be the type to save him if he were to drown at sea..of course u less he got anything for it.
But Felix was Felix..Hyunjin was Hyunjin..but Jeongin felt like an idiot.
