Weak To Fire

12

Y/N was surprised when she saw Mereoleona standing there. And as soon as she saw her she was getting mad. She was so upset she was in no good condition to be talking about things. And she felt bad about attacking her like that. Honestly, at the moment her emotions just kind of boiled over, and Y/N had to go and cool down for a bit. She had been thinking about it all while she was sitting in her lake - Mereo and what she was going to say and how she was glad that she was back at all.

She was still kind of mad that she had left, but seeing her again and hearing that she was actually sorry and that she came to explain what was going on... it was such a relief. Y/N found it difficult to stop being upset at first, but she was glad that Mereoleona was willing to give her some space to calm down, because she really needed it and she was sure she wouldn't have thought of that at the moment. It was always the same when she got upset - she could never think straight and she tended to mess up situations like this. So she was glad that Mereoleona had foiled her sabotaging herself, at least this time. She just had to try not to mess it up later.

It took her until it was dark to calm down. Y/N would sometimes look back at Mereoleona to see what she was doing, but she just seemed to be sitting there, waiting for her. At first, Y/N felt the same familiar pain in her chest when she saw Mereoleona sitting there, but it got better with every passing hour. Still, Y/N expected a really good explanation for her sudden disappearance. In her books there was nothing that could justify this - that could justify not even leaving a note. But maybe it was some misunderstanding. Maybe Mereoleona hadn't guessed that Y/N had a massive crush on her and Y/N couldn't expect her to read her mind, after all.

Still, she was nervous as hell for their conversation once she had decided that she was ready. What if Mereoleona had someone else? What if she didn't feel the same way about her after all? What if the whole thing wouldn't even come up? If it didn't come up... well, that wouldn't be too bad for Y/N. She could live with that. She just wanted to know what the hell was going on already. She wanted to know whether it was her fault that Mereoleona left or not. She wanted to be able to just... rest easy again, knowing what was going on. Even if it was her fault, it was worse not knowing anything at all. Y/N couldn't stand the constant doubts.

Mereoleona was sitting by a small fire when Y/N finally got out of the water to make her way towards her. She looked up when Y/N was approaching and she gave her a hopeful, but nervous little smile. Y/N wasn't sure what the hell that was supposed to mean, but she figured now was not the time to back out. She had to face this, whatever "this" was. But God, did she wish she didn't have to have that talk. It felt as if she was a lamb being brought to the slaughterhouse.

As she got closer she could smell the food Mereoleona was cooking for herself. Y/N hadn't eaten in what felt like ages. She didn't need to eat as a water spirit, but she could do it for fun. And eating was a lot of fun, especially when the food was good. Y/N would never go through the trouble of making herself some food, but if she could get food from someone else, she wouldn't say no.

"Hey." she greeted Mereo shyly. Mereoleona moved to the side a little, so Y/N could sit down next to her.

"Hey yourself. You want some?" she asked and nodded towards the food. Y/N smiled widely. She might as well eat, no matter what would happen now. At least she'd have some good memories then.

"Yes, please. And I think I'm okay to talk now." Y/N answered sheepishly. Mereo nodded and handed her some food.

"Yeah, I thought so. Here, eat a few bites first." she told her. Y/N nodded and started eating whatever it was Mereo had thrown together. It tasted good, very spicy, and lots of meat. Y/N loved it. She honestly would miss Mereo for her food, if all of this somehow went completely south.

"It's amazing." Y/N said with a small chuckle.

"Thanks. And... First of all, I'm really sorry. I know I should have said something or left something behind when I went back to the capital, but I just wasn't thinking straight at the time. For several reasons." Mereo started. Y/N just kept on chewing on her food, but more slowly now. She wanted to know where this was going. Her heart was beating fast, almost ready to jump out of her chest.

"Okay...?" she mumbled, waiting for her to continue. Mereoleona sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Right. Okay. So what happened was... well, the night I left someone from the capital contacted me. It was the middle of the night and I was pretty exhausted, so you can imagine my brain wasn't feeling up to speed, right?"

"Right."

"Anyway, they contacted me and they said that there had been an attack on the capital and that my younger brother was injured... badly injured, that he was in a coma and that they needed me to come back to the capital immediately to take care of some things. Turns out that the things they wanted me to take care of... I was supposed to fill in for him as captain of the Crimson Lions. So that's why I was gone for so long and why I had left so suddenly. I know it sounds like an excuse, but it was really a family emergency." Mereo finished explaining, before glancing back at Y/N.

"Okay... and he's... he's better now? Or why did you come back? And why didn't you just leave a note?" Y/N wanted to know.

"I know, I should have left a note. I thought of it as soon as I set foot in the capital, but then it was already too late. I don't know why I didn't think of it any earlier, it was stupid. But as I said, I was woken up in the middle of the night and got incredibly bad news. It wasn't really the best time for good decisions. And no, he's not better. Still in a coma. I'm just back because I managed to get a few days off and I wanted to make things right with you, because I felt really bad." she answered.

"God, Mereo... you should have just said something... all this time I was worried that it was somehow my fault that you left, that I was getting too annoying or something like that. That I was getting too clingy, that something was wrong, I don't know. I could have saved myself all that worrying." Y/N replied with a sigh. She was honestly just happy that it wasn't her fault that Mereoleona left. Everything else seemed pretty unimportant right now. It was like a weight falling off her chest.

"I know. I'm really sorry. I could have said something earlier. But it is what it is now. I'm honestly sorry, Y/N, but there is nothing else I can say right now." Mereo told her. Y/N took a deep breath.

"It's okay. It's okay. I just... I was so worried. I didn't know whether something might have happened to you or whether you were okay or... I just didn't know." she said and laughed. She was feeling lighthearted again. She really couldn't believe that it had been the family emergency after all. She really felt stupid for worrying so much now, when the answer had been right in front of her all this time and she just didn't want to believe it for whatever reason. Maybe because she wanted to feel sorry for herself or something. But it was all good now.

"Why do you even care so much? Not like you were too happy when I wandered in here first." Mereoleona joked. Y/N chuckled quietly and felt her cheeks heating up a little. What was she supposed to say to that? It was probably best to say the truth, right? If she wanted Mereo to be honest with her, she should do the same.

"Well... I really like you, okay? I guess you really grew on me over time."