Suicide Watch

Chapter 19

Isa POV

"Why are we even doing this?"

I continue flipping through the stack of papers in my hand as if I had not heard him.

"Isa, I'm talking to you," Joshua says, even though it's clear that he's talking to me, seeing as I am the only other person in the room.

I sigh deeply and push the stack of papers to the side as I turn to look at him.

"What is it, Joshua?"

"Don't take that tone with me," Joshua says, his dark brows knitting together in annoyance, which causes me to smirk slightly. "I asked why we are doing this?"

"Well, I was assigned paper duty, so I need to sort these papers by tonight-"

"Don't play dumb with my, Isa." Joshua states, dragging his hand through his hair in frustration. He leans against the cabinet, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why are we here? In the military? He pauses, his eyes fixed on me. "I don't want to do this, Isa. I want to be a surgeon, healing people... not doing the opposite."

A sad feeling comes over me as we fall into a strange silence.

"I always wanted to be an artist," I hear myself saying. This is something that I have never shared with anyone and I am slightly shocked to hear the words leave my mouth.

Joshua's head snaps up as he looks at me with astonishment.

"You'd make an amazing artist, Isa. That drawing you did of me for my birthday last month was museum worthy."

"Thanks," I reply, smiling slightly, and we fall into silence once again.

"Why are we here, Isa?" Joshua asks once again. "What are we doing here? I mean, what are we really doing here? Why are we even in the military?"

"Because you can't afford to go to med school and I'm too poor to afford to be a broke artist."

Joshua smirks slightly at these and I am happy for the tension in the air to have eased a little.

"I could always let you live with me and mooch off me and my surgeon salary till you make your breakthrough as an artist."

"Yeah buddy, I think it's gonna be the other way around. I pay for your tuition with all the money I make as a successful artist and you mooch off me."

"Yeah, sure," Joshua replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes with a huge grin on his face.

"I need to sort these papers out before Sergeant Maxwell gets back," I say, glancing at the clock. "You're distracting me with all your fantasy life talk."

Joshua is silent for a while, and for a moment I believe he has left the room, till I turn around to see him gazing at the floor.

"Josh? You good?"

Joshua's head snaps up, and his eyes lock with mine. There's an intensity there that I don't think I have seen before.

"But what if we can chase our dreams, Isa? Who is there to say we can't?"

I open my mouth to reply, but my throat has gone dry. My brain feels empty and I don't know how to respond.

"Isa."

Joshua sounds different. His voice is a lot higher and has a slightly annoyed edge to it.

"Isa."