Suicide Watch

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Temi's POV

The night is frosty, and it's freezing against my bare arms. I forgot my coat inside the venue, but there's no way in hell I am going back. So instead, I proceed along with my bare feet slapping against the cold ground and tears free falling down my face. It's pathetic.

It's dark, and my vision is blurry. I can barely see where I am going. I don't even know where I am going, but I really don't care right now. I just know that I need to get away. I feel like I'm going to explore. It's too much, everything is just too much and honestly, I don't think I can handle anything anymore.

I know my mom means no harm. This is how we have always been. We've never really had much of an emotional connection, but is it too much to ask that I get some sympathy right now? She wants to proceed as if my life has not suddenly turned upside down these past few months and I hate it. I hate everything about this. And I resent myself for expecting anything different.

My heart feels tight in my chest and it's pounding hard. There's a painful feeling in my throat and an emptiness deep within me. All I feel is pain. A built-up, deep-seated pain that has been with me these past few months and I don't think that anything I do could ever make this pain go away. I feel like I am doomed to feel this forever. To hurt forever.

Someone is yelling my name, but my head is so clouded that I don't hear it at first.

"Temi!"

It's Isa yelling out to me. I don't care what she has to say and choose to ignore her. She's the last person I want to deal with right now. I need a break.

"Temi, please wait!" I hear Isa's voice yell from somewhere close behind me.

"Leave me alone, Isa!" I yell, without bothering to turn around. I walk faster, my arms clutched over my chest in an attempt to keep me warm as tears keep falling down my face.

I am suddenly grabbed from behind, and I instantly start punching at the culprit. Of course, it is Isa. I hit her a bit for a while, as hard as I can. It seems like she intentionally allows me to do this before grabbing hold of my wrists, pinning them down.

I struggle for a few more seconds, but she is obviously stronger than me. A fresh wave of embarrassment washes over me, as I feel even more pathetic in that moment. I squeeze my eyes shut to prevent more tears from streaming down my face. I am already in a humiliating state as it is.

"Temi, please open your eyes and look at me."

Isa's voice is soft. I hear it close to me from above. It has something in it I haven't heard from Isa before. But I don't buy it.

"Fuck off, Isabella. Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone?" I try for my voice to sound as angry as possible, but it sounds weak and desperate, and I break into silent sobs. I try to mask the sound with sniffs and squeeze my eyes as tightly as I can.

I feel Isa pull me gently towards her. Her right hand is wrapped firmly around my wrists and through the chaos I am feeling, I can smell her familiar scent. It's a familiarity, a comfort as I lose my mind.

"I will not leave you alone, Temi." Isa says. Her voice still has that soft tone in it, and I hate how it makes me feel.

"I get it's your job, but I want to be fucking alone." My voice is basically above a whisper. It is hoarse and desperate.

"I don't think that's what you really want. And I'm not here right now just because it's my job."

"Then why the fuck are you here?" I ask. My head is spinning and hurting from all my crying.