Don't Make Me ~ Kang Minhee

Nine

Minhee's POV

I hated ignoring Kyunghu. Today has been horrible. Having to ignore your best friend is the worst.

After last night, I can't bring myself to look at her. I'm too scared. I'm scared to show her how I feel. And now that Serim knows, it'll be even harder.

I knew she would try to talk to me again tonight. I wasn't sleeping when she knocked for me. I knew it would hurt her, but I couldn't do anything else.

I hate being in love with her. Not because I hate her. I hate the aspect of love. Romantic love. Catching feelings and owning up to them. Building up the confidence to confess. I hate it all.

I want to be with her. More than anything. But I don't want to confess my feelings. It's terrifying. I know she knows that I like her. As much as I don't want it to be obvious, it honestly is. I held her hand. There's nothing else I can do to show her, though. I just can't.

Maybe, eventually, hopefully, definitely. I'll tell her how I feel. Maybe she'll confess first. That'll probably just make me feel awkward, though. I hate this.

I'll do it tomorrow, when we wake up. No, we'll both be tired and won't want to have to deal with anything like that.

I'll do it tomorrow afternoon, when we're all awake and happy. No, the middle of the day is the worst time to do it.

I'll do it tomorrow night, before bed. Just like all our other romantic interactions have been. No, that's when we're most vulnerable. It'll probably make one of us cry.

Screw it, I'm doing it now.

I stood up and walked to my door excitedly, but then it hit me what I was actually about to do. Or what I thought I was about to do.

I stopped in front of the door and looked down in defeat. Why did I think I was strong enough to do that? Even last night. Why did I do that? How did I do that?

There was a single, small knock on my door in front of me. It scared me, but I heard someone talking on the other side.

"Please let me talk to you," I heard her whisper. A shock went through my body and my heart sank. I knew I hurt her, but not that much.

I slowly walked back to my bed, wanting to cry. I curled up under my blanket, actually going to sleep this time.

A few tears left my eyes as I thought.

Why was this happening to me? How am I going to fix this? How are we going to fix this..?