Bittersweet Honey

24. More Than You Know

"You had your reasons.
You had a few.
But you know I would
Go anywhere for you."

-Axwell Ingrosso

Toni.

     It feels like I left my stomach on the plane. The deafening noise of the wind is disorienting, and it feels like the biggest mistake I've made.

     I'm screaming like a maniac and holding on to the harness for dear life. And I can just think of every profanity in Spanish and English in my vocabulary, but I'm too shocked to form a sentence mid-air.

     Ollie opens up the parachute and it doesn't feel like I'm falling into nothingness. The sky is different shades of orange and pink. And I find myself not screaming anymore. It still feels like I might die when we land, but I can say it's one of the prettiest sunsets I've ever seen, and definitely with the best view. I'm still going to kill Daniel when I see him, though.

     I can hear the guys whooping and screaming while they have fun as we make our way closer to the ground. I just wish we make it alive.

     In fact, we do. Ollie really is a professional, and we land in a field of grass with a light thud, but I feel lightheaded, so I stay on my knees while Ollie unties my harness. I take off the stupid helmet and goggles and I try to catch my breath. I hear a high pitched ring in my ears, but it fades away and I can hear the guys cheering and chanting, as men do.

     "You okay, Toni?" Ollie asks. I just nod, but look at the ground because I feel a bit dizzy. He gives a squeeze to my shoulders, and leaves me there to go chant with his friends. I look up and Daniel is making his way to me, jogging, with his big smile.

     "You did it, Toni! Wasn't that awesome?!" He asks with enthusiasm.

     "I can't believe you made me do that, Daniel." I manage to speak out, my breath heavy.

     "Oh come on, Toni, you can be the coolest girl in town now that you jumped off an airplane." He says as he holds out both of his hands to help me up. I take them but I still stand up with wobbly legs.

     "It's not funny Daniel." I blurt out. And I don't know why I'm kind of mad at him. I'm alive after all.

     His face gets serious, and he looks at me with his confused eyebrows. I don't mean to make him mad, but this was so fucking scary I don't know what else he might pull.

     "Toni, you're mad at me." He doesn't even ask. He just states it almost in a whisper. And something shifts inside of me, because he is acknowledging my feelings without me even having to explain. And that's a new one for me.

     "That was too much, Daniel." I speak out, after catching my breath.

     "Okay, maybe it was. I'm sorry." He moves his hands to my shoulders and gives them a light squeeze, and I already feel my body relax a little.

     "But you have to admit that was the best sunset you've ever seen." He says with his cheeky smile forming on his lips. And I can't help it, I smile back at him because he read my mind so precisely.

     "It was a very pretty sunset." I admit. And as if by some sort of inertia, I wrap my arms around Daniel's waist and hug him for a couple seconds. I can hear his heartbeat as I press my head on his chest. And I want to stay there for a little bit longer, but I also don't want to seem so obvious.

     "Let's get going." Daniel says giving my cheek a soft stroke.

     So we take a few steps with my arm around his waist and his arm around my shoulders. But we let go when we catch up with the other guys. We landed on a grassy land and we start to make our way towards what looks like a barn, with a house next to it, and I suppose it's Daniel's place. He had it all planned out, for us to land over here. And I realize this place is kind of his safe haven, because there are no other properties around, and of course no fans, no journalists, just peace and quiet.