Bittersweet Honey

10. The Heart is a Muscle

Toni.

"I won't let a soul betray me,
Though my soul got use to it.
I will look at love
As more than just
An instrument of pain."

-Gang of Youths

     In the morning, I wake up unusually late for me, around 10 a.m. I've been extremely tired since I landed the job at Aston Martin. I didn't even know how much my body needed those extra hours of sleep.

​      I quietly get up and head to the living room, where Alex is already lying there awake too. Ren as usual, is the last to get up.

     Then I make my way to the kitchen and I realize I'm out of groceries. So it's leftovers for breakfast today.

​     We are also unusually quiet today. Last night was eventful, and I think maybe something moved withing me, because otherwise Ren would be teasing the hell out of me about Daniel. We're having small talk around the table while we eat our cereal and some berries I had in the fridge.

​     Out of nowhere, my phone rings and it startles us. Ren immediately returns to being her loud self, and I'm kind of relieved because it was getting way too quiet in here.

​     "Oh my God, Toni! It's an unknown number, it's probably him! Oh it's definitely him." She exclaims as she jumps up and down.

     I feel my stomach twist a little, but I look at Alex for reassurance and he gives me a soft smile and a nod. I take my phone to my room even if my apartment is small and they can probably hear what I say from the kitchen, but at least I don't have them breathing down my neck while I take this call. It might not even be him, like I said, I gave out lots of cards last night.

​     "Hello?" I answer.

​     "G'day, Antonia. I told you I'd call." Hearing his voice makes me tremble a little, but at the same time I don't feel nervous. And that is a weird feeling.

​     "Hi, what are you up to?" I kind of try to sound calm, but really, I am. I thought this call would normally make me anxious.

​     "I was about to ask you out to lunch. Since it's a much more casual situation and you didn't want anything fancy. You can even pick the place." I think his Australian accent sounds harsher through the phone. It's considerate of him to think of lunch instead of dinner, it does sound way more casual, so I relax even more.

     Mainly because I'm doing what Alex said last night: I'm letting go. I'll give him a chance and if nothing happens, then life goes on.

​     "That sounds good. Hmm..." I try to think of some good places I can suggest.

     "Do you like pizza?" I hear him chuckle. ​

​     "I love pizza." And his joyful tone makes me smile a little. I guess he is so naturally charismatic, and that's what makes him so likeable for the Formula One followers.

​     "Good, I know just the place."

​     "Perfect. Where should I pick you up?" That question made me feel a tad nervous now. Because I've met formula drivers, but I've never gotten in a car with them. And they probably drive like crazy. But I'm letting go.

​     "I'll text you my address." I answer. Honest to God, I don't know why I'm trusting this man. We only met last night, I honestly don't know what I'm doing.

​     "Okie dokie." He giggles. Who even says that? The man is 31 years old! But maybe that's just his personality.

​     "Alright, well you can pick me up around...two thirty." I suggest, as I realize I've been walking in circles around my bedroom.

​     "Sounds good to me, Antonia." It's amazing how I can hear his smile thought a phone call.

​     "You can call me Toni, remember?" I say, without even aware it came off a bit flirty. But he laughed again before answering.

​     "I know, Toni, I'm just messing with ya. I just wanted to sound formal, since this is a business lunch." He jokes.

     I don't know what I got into, but at least he's funny and charming.

​     "Sure, Daniel, a business lunch." I answer sarcastically.

     "I'll see you later."

​     "See you, Toni. Cheers." And with that, we hang up. I don't think I've ever felt uneasy and calm at the same time. I save his number on my phone as Daniel Ricciardo. It seems surreal having some driver's phone numbers now.

​      I feel like I need to mentally prepare to see him again, and I also don't want to make a big fuss about it. We're just getting pizza, like, I might even end up not liking him after.

​      I head back to the kitchen expecting a thousand questions from Ren, but it's like they turned off the switch again because they are both acting like they could read my mind.

​     "I think I'm gonna head out, I need to visit my parents today." Ren comments as she changes her clothes in the middle of the living room.

​     "Yeah, and I need to...go to a ceramics class." Alex always comes up with really great advice, but the lamest excuses. But I think it was nice of them to let me be. I know they are good friends because they're here for me when I need them, but they also know when I need my space. And this is all too overwhelming, so I do appreciate it very much.

​      After they leave, I clean my apartment a bit. I pick up some trash, wash some dishes and put them away, I do my bed and pick up some of last night's outfits I tried on, but didn't work.

     Before I notice, it's already noon, so it's a good time to take a shower. I feel even more relaxed after feeling the hot water on my body.

     I need to pick out an outfit, a casual outfit. So I go for my light wash mom jeans and an olive-green silk, button-down blouse. I blow-dry my hair to add some volume, but I decide to put it up in a low bun with some loose strands and it looks pretty cute. I apply some light makeup, and I accessorize with my leather watch and some small hoop earrings, and I think I'll wear my white sneakers.

     I'm done getting ready around 2:05, so I guess I'll just sit on the living room and flip through some magazines. When the clock hits 2:20, my phone buzzes. It's him. He's here.