The thing about boiling water, is you can't see your reflection when you look through it.
Shouto learned this from experience. He did not see himself in the water, in Rei, that day. All he could see is that she was terrified.
Only one other person could make her feel that way, look that way.
Endeavor has four kids. Or... had. Touya doesn't count anymore, not after Endeavor ruined and took the life of a child seeking attention.
Endeavor has three kids. Three chances at a perfect successor.
Fuyumi was too much like mother to play the role of hero.
Natsuo learned from a young age that his quirk would never be enough, and therefore, he wouldn't be enough to please Endeavor.
From the moment Shouto was born, every last one of the Todoroki's knew he'd inherit a quirk of both fire and ice. Shouto has always been half Endeavor, half Rei. Never one whole being.
He doesn't know who he is.
Because he is not as powerful as Endeavor, otherwise he wouldn't have a scar so painful and he wouldn't be so confused on how the man thinks.
Shouto is not Rei. She's calm and collected and, unfortunately, weak. Her mental health is in bad shape compared to most people. Her figure is thin and wobbly, she's too pale and she's too lacking in strength.
Shouto isn't even like a mix of them. He's someone, but he doesn't know who.
He's Shouto.
...
But who is Shouto?
(The thought that he's nobody makes him sick.)
Endeavor's son. Born into a wealthy, famous family and carrying on the pride Endeavor once carried.
...
Endeavor's tool. Bred to carry on the dreams of a man who could never achieve them.
...
Endeavor's toy.
Created to burn.
...
Endeavor's.
How do you go fifteen years without realizing you're not even your own person?
Even after the Sports Festival, when Midoriya finally got it through Shouto's thick skull that he had his own power. That Endeavor shouldn't be able to control what Shouto's quirk does or what he sues it for.
It extended beyond the belief that he was just a tool, as Endeavor told him daily.
Shouto should've known. He should've realized sooner. Maybe then, it wouldn't be such a shock now.
Shouto can't breathe. The ibuprofen he took earlier in the day is helping his headache, but now he's lightheaded from hyperventilation. His lungs feel like they're stretching beyond belief, they also feel like he can't get enough air into them.
Father always makes him feel this way. When Shouto says something he doesn't like, and father's already spent hours beating Shouto. He fills the tub with water, hand held underneath the rough stream of liquid to check the temperature. It needs to be cold, the faucet turned all the way to the right, where the blue paint is.
Shouto tries clawing at the hand grasping his hair, pulling his roots out of his head as he uses the strands as a leash. It does nothing, as Father pulls him forward and shoves him down.
YOU ARE READING
When the Heart is Ash (I'll Savor Your Warmth)
Fanfiction'The sheet filled, multicolored pen marks on each name, the more talkative students in class came more often, the quieter ones had more to talk about. Even if in the meetings, it was just a few words, a cup of tea, and a nice setting in his dorm off...
