When the Heart is Ash (I'll Savor Your Warmth)

Frigid Correspondence

Keeping in mind what Aizawa said: that Endeavor can be the adult for a while, Shouto does not speak to him on the car ride home. Endeavor wants to, it's clear in the way he sits, slightly turned toward Shouto to seem more open. But Shouto turns away and watches the world pass through the window, uninterested.

Fuyumi greeted him in such a manner that he almost didn't remember all the toxicity she produced. They hugged, flour from her apron rubbing off onto Shouto's shirt. And then, she let him come cook with her and Endeavor.

It was... awkward. Fuyumi talked. And she talked and talked and talked. Endeavor kept busy with pulling things in and out of the oven for his daughter, so she could focus on the main dishes.

Neither said much, Endeavor seemed more nervous than usual, Shouto brushed it off because he is not supposed to care about Endeavor's feelings anymore.

Now, he is laying in his futon. In the dark, with a thin blanket and no furniture, nothing like his dorm room. It's more spacious and it's empty, aside from memories of being tortured within these walls.

He screws his eyes shut, shaking his head. He doesn't want to think about that. He doesn't want to think about the shadowy figure that loomed in his doorway, watching his every move like a hawk. Shouto doesn't want to think about the much smaller, kinder figure, the one that tried to kill him when he was little, because Shouto stole a role he never wanted.

Mostly, he doesn't want to think about Endeavor, though. About those hands that have done nothing kind for him. Those hands that hit and burn, leaving scars that still haven't left him. He doesn't want to think about how he would scream, beg for a hero to help him. Until one day, he realized heroes can't save everyone, and Shouto had fallen into the small group of people not meant to be saved.

Except, he does think about those things, and he can't breathe. His headache has grown and he is suffering again, alone in the dark.

Easy fix. He digs into his bag and pulls out the blue labeled bottle, it's nearly almost full. He takes two, dry swallowing and letting his head hit the pillow. This way, at least, his head won't hurt as the unceasing nightmares hit him full force.

(He's scared. So scared.)

When he is finally able to sleep, watching the doorway to make sure Endeavor is not actually there, he dreams of pain and blood. There is no escape from the haunting blue eyes that refuse to stop watching.

He wakes up, and downs water along with the quirk suppressants. This mansion is made of paper and wood, ironic for a family of fire users.

The next time his mind drifts far enough to be considered resting, he dreams of water. Water filling his head through his ears, his mind floating away far from his body.

And just before he wakes up, fire. He dreams of fire and of this house, burning down from the bottom up. His family is inside and he is inside, already turned to ash.

He chooses not to sleep, after that dream. Seeing his mother's flesh melting right next to his, that's too horrifying.

He can hear that Endeavor is also awake, his footsteps too heavy and recognizable to be sneaky. Even as the floorboards creak slower than usual, a result of his slow walking attempt at silence, Shouto hears his father as he sneaks through the hall.

Shouto sneaks through his own room, blank-faced and practiced at sneaking. He used to do it when he was supposed to be sleeping, and the dietary foods Endeavor had him eating weren't enough to make him full. He'd sneak through the courtyard and into the kitchen, where one of the maids took pity on him and left things like apples and oranges out for him.