Come Back Home (Lams Celeb AU)

Relationship

I hate this. All of this.

I'm selfish, I know, but I hate not being able to have Alex. I don't like this whole secret off to the side thing.

Because he just treats our relationship like a "friends with benefits" situation. Which usually? I wouldn't mind. I wasn't looking for anything serious with anyone. But with Alex? That's not what I wanted.

I don't even know what I wanted anymore, but I didn't want to be his side piece.

But I didn't tell him that. Because I enjoyed the attention he was giving me. We would meet up with him and Eliza, and then my sister would run off with Eliza somewhere or she would go to hang out with her other friends and Alex and I would be alone together.

Right now, we were laying on the bed in my hotel room, and he had his head on my chest, curled up into my side, while I stared up at the ceiling, wondering what the fuck we were doing.

"Hey, Lex.."

He chuckles softly. "It's been a while since I've heard that nickname." He says, not moving his position.

I sigh softly. "It's been a while since we've really talked." I say, tangling my fingers in his hair.

"Uh oh, that's never good." He mumbles. "What did you really want to talk about?"

"Uh.. Well.. What are we doing?" I ask. It was a really stupid and vague question, but I didn't know how else to say it. There wasn't really any other way.

I hear Alex sigh gently as he waits to answer. "I'm not sure what you mean." He states, though the pause definitely suggested that he knew exactly what I meant.

"Come on, Alex. You know what I'm talking about. Are we in a relationship? I mean, you're in a relationship, this isn't-"

"Why do we need labels? I mean, you're going to leave back to LA anyway." He says, still not looking up at me. I frown gently.

"Well.. Yeah.. But still. There's something going on here. Between us." I say, trying not to sound too upset.

"John, let's just leave it alone. The more we think about it, the worse it'll be."

I look down at him and sigh. "Fine. But at least look at me and tell me you don't want to acknowledge whatever's between us." I raise an eyebrow.

He hesitates and eventually turns his head, looking up at me, sighing. "I don't think we need labels between us." He says to me.

I frown but nod. "Okay, fine. We'll leave it at that, then." I say, even though I didn't really want to. I didn't think he would be able to say it to my face.

~~~

"Alex, how come you've never brought me here before? I love this place, it's so cute." Eliza says, smiling as she looks around.

Alex shrugs slightly. "I.. Don't know. I just haven't been in a while I suppose."

We sit down and Martha comes up to the table, smiling brightly. "John, Alex! I'm glad to see you guys here again. I was worried the two of you wouldn't visit again during John's stay." She says, setting down menus in front of us.

Eliza raises an eyebrow over at Alex. "Oh, so this was like your guys' spot, then."

I chuckle softly and nod. "Yeah, Alex and I used to come here almost everyday after school. Auntie Martha loved our shenanigans."

Martha playfully rolls her eyes. "I wouldn't say I loved them, but you two were my most loyal customers, so I put up with it." She chuckles and pulls out her notebook. "Anywho can I get you guys started with drinks?"