Lioness

8~The 67th Hunger Games

I wake up and run to my bathroom. I kneel down in front of my toilet and hurl all of the contents from my stomach. I wipe my mouth with some toilet paper and flush. I push myself backwards and lean against the wall.

Aria. Get. It. Together.

I cover my face with my hands and count to 10.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9... 9.25... 9.5... 9.75... 10.

I put my hands on the wall behind me and push myself up. I go to the sink and dip my head under  it, letting water run into my mouth. The mirror shows a strange reflection; the girl looking back at me is pale, as if she has never known happiness. Her hair is a mess from restless sleep and dark circles hang under her eyes.

Get. It. Together. Aria.

I leave the bathroom and change into a black shirt and pants. Pulling on boots, I head to the living room. No one is up yet. The bookshelves call me over, pleading with me to pick up a story. I run my right pointer finger over the spines. I smile to myself when I happen to find one titled, "Fairytales and Other Stories." I pull it from its spot and blow on it, sending a cloud of dust to mingle with the fresh air. It is a light green book with silver spiral letters curling along the cover. I open it to find beautiful pictures of far away lands and impossible creatures. I decide that in the face of certain death, a little creativity and uncertainty is a good distraction. Backing away, I plop down and nestle myself in for some good old reading time.

I forget about my surroundings and the terrible things in store for me for about a solid hour until someone clears their throat loudly to my left. Seeder. She stands at the edge of where the living room turns into the hallway of bedrooms. I give her a weak smile.

"What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She shuffles in and sits on one of the uncomfortable chairs.

"Couldn't sleep." I lift up my book so she could see its tantalizing cover.

"No, I didn't expect you'd be able to." She looks around.

A question that I should not be asking forces it's way past the gates of my lips. "Out of all the kids you've mentored, do you think I have a chance, even if it's really small, at keeping Wren alive?"

She stares at me, reading my expression. After a minute goes by, I begin to think she didn't hear me or that she's choosing not to and decide to drop the topic.

"Aria, my dear, not in my many years of mentoring, have I ever seen anyone as brave as you. No one has ever had a bigger heart either. You put everyone above yourself. You comfort little Wren every night and hide your own fears away so that he won't see them. You worry about every adult around you, putting their happiness above yours. And you have mastered the art of secrecy, fooling everyone into thinking you are weak. You sneak away at night, no doubt to train, sacrificing your sleep so that you know your skills won't fail you in that arena. Your mother is right, my sweet Aria, you are a lioness. A fighter and protector." She pauses, considering something else. "That arena may be filled with tributes who are bigger and older than you, but in the end, they do not come close to your fighting spirit and relentless heart."

Tears. Who the hell made it such a small word for such a gut-wrenching action. "I'm going to miss you in that arena, Seeder."

She stands and walks over to sit next to me. I put my hand in her open one. "I'm going to miss you too."

I rest my head on her shoulder and we look at the pictures painted on my book, taking turns reading, until the others wake up.

Wren is the first to join us and we three, play little games like truth or dare or Simon-says. I can't help but think about my family back home. We played these same silly games everyday and laughed until we think we'd die. In this moment, I hold onto my childhood and make one more rule in my head: I will not lose who I am in these games.