Petrichor ~ P.L.

Chapter Three

A few weeks have passed and Paul is becoming more and more distant, and I have no idea why.  I keep trying to reach out to him.  I'll send him texts, and I get one-word replies.  I ask to hang out, and he says he's busy.  I even tried baking his favourite cookies for him and bringing them to his house, but no one answered the door.  I can feel myself getting frustrated with him, but I don't want to push him too far.  

It also doesn't help that I've heard through some mutual friends that his anger issues have been getting worse and worse.  He's started fights and began sleeping around.  I can't help the pangs of jealousy that go through me every time I hear about someone new he's slept with.  

I will admit I'd had a crush on him for a while, and sometimes got the feeling that he might feel the same.  I was obviously deluded thinking that, but still, I couldn't help but wonder. 

The answer to that is obvious now with him sleeping around, starting fights, and ignoring my calls.  A cloud continued to hang over my head as I went through the motions.  Wake up, go for a run, help with chores, eat dinner, and go to bed.  None of my Forks friends even reached out to me, each having someone they preferred more than me.  Which I'm used to, feeling like the second choice.  Well, I didn't with Paul.  

I decided to try one last time to go to his house armed with muffins this time.  I listened to the thunder above me as I drove, and couldn't help but feel a sense of forewarning as I drove through the reservation.  

I pulled into the Lahotes driveway, grabbed the muffins, and stepped out into the drizzling rain.  I shut my car door and turned to face the small dark blue home. 

The door opened and my face fell, my heart becoming heavier when I saw a blonde girl step out of it, followed by Paul who she kissed before she walked away.  He was about to close his door when he saw me and looked at me with an unreadable expression on his face. 

I took a deep breath and called his name. 

"Paul!" I started running towards the door, catching it before he closed it on me again. 

"Not now Adair." He grumbled, standing in the doorway. 

"When then Paul?  You've been ignoring me and completely off the rails!  What's wrong with you?" I raised my voice as the rain began to fall a little harder. 

"Nothing is wrong with me I just-" He ran a hand through his hair, "I just haven't been feeling like myself.  I needed some space." 

"Space?  You needed space?  It doesn't look like you need much space when you're sleeping with half the fucking town!" I snapped at him, fighting back the tears wanting to fill my eyes.

"Space from you! You're suffocating!  Even my thoughts suffocate me with you!  You're all I think about and it's driving me nuts!  Don't you have any other friends to push your presence on?" He yelled at me, eyes filling with anger. 

I took a step back from him as my heart broke from his words. He needed space from me? 

I set down the muffins on the bench outside his house and stepped back even further away from him, trying to hide the tears that rapidly fell down my face.  I blamed myself for thinking that he wouldn't get tired of me.  That he would be the one person that would enjoy my presence and want me for me, socially inept and all. 

"I," I looked to the ground and wiped my tears with the sleeve of my coat, hiccuping slightly, "I-i'm sorry I made you feel that way. I just," I hiccuped again and looked up at him, "I just thought that maybe you needed help or a friend or..." 

I looked into his eyes that had gone from anger to sadness and regret. 

"Addy..." He started, trying to reach out for me. 

"No, no!" I took a step back again, "it's okay! I never want to," I let out a small uncontrolled sob, "I never want to burden you, I just want you to be happy." 

"Addy I'm sorry, please just come inside." He took a step towards me, but I stepped back again. 

"I actually have, have to um get back home to cook dinner but um," I looked up trying to hold back the tears unable to control my voice cracking and breaking, "but I'll see you later."  

He called my name as I ran back to my car, sobbing as I finally threw open the driver's door and hopped into the passenger's seat.  I quickly reversed out of there and drove home, trying my best to keep my tears at bay as I drove back to Forks. 

I never meant to be a burden, never meant to frustrate or make someone I hold so dearly so upset with even the thought of me.  As I pulled into my driveway I couldn't help but quietly sob at the fact I made one of my favourite people so terrible. 

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A few days had passed since then, and a part of me hoped that he would reach out to me.  Claim that his words were false and that he didn't want to lose my friendship.  He never did. 

Instead, the cloud over my head got heavier with each day that passed, the bags underneath my eyes darkened significantly, and my family grew more and more worried. 

"Alright, what's wrong with you?  I'm 12 and even I can see that you are like depressed or something." Josh asked me, jumping onto my bed as I read one of my favourite novels, Percy Jackson. 

I sighed and shut the book, looking at my little brother. 

"I'm not depressed just...feeling depressed."

He gives me a funny look, before scooting up next to me. 

"Want to play Minecraft?" 

I laughed at him lightly before pulling out my phone, playing Minecraft is one of the things that we both do together.  Really only he and my parents knew of my love for the game. 

"Sure." I laughed lightly and pulled him a bit closer, accepting his comforting brotherly presence no matter how much he may pester me. 

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I walked downstairs the next day, freshly showered and feeling a bit better.  I find being with my family always helps to brighten my mood. 

"Darling!  You've finally emerged from your cave! Come and sit, we're about to watch Shark Week!" My father calls to me as I walked into the living room. I snuggled into the couch between him and my mom, my brother on the other side of my mom as we share a blanket and watch the discovery channel.  

About an hour passed before my mom and dad decided that they are going to pop out to get dinner, my brother begging to go with them so they can stop at the gas station and grab his favourite chips.  They asked me if I wanted to go, but I elected to stay and clean up the living room a bit, it being a bit of a mess from our shark week binge.  

I quickly clean up all the blankets and pillows, folding them and placing them neatly on the couch, taking our empty hot chocolate cups to the kitchen then cleaning them.  I set them in the drying rack to dry, before going back to the living room and throwing away the odd chip bag or two.  I then sat back down on the couch after about an hour and scrolled through my phone waiting for my family to return.

As I sat I thought about how grateful I am for them.  Even the few hours that we spent together as a family today drastically improved my glum mood.  Thoughts of Paul and his harsh words still spun through my brain, but I was able to push them to the back of my mind with the comforting presence of my family.  The only people I know I will never be second choice to. 

I waited for a bit longer, scrolling through my phone still when I caught a look at the time.  I frowned when I saw that it had been three hours.  Anxiety started to ride up in me as I began to question what was taking them so long.  

I'm about to call my mom when I hear a knock on the door, I sighed in relief when I realized it's probably them needing help bringing the bags in.  I quickly jumped up from the couch, and swung open the door, not bothering to check the peephole. 

I frowned at the person standing in front of me, a nervous and distraught look on his face.  His eyes rimmed with red, and puffy. 

"Charlie?"