What Am I?

|6•Lucious|

I woke up feeling a lot better than I've felt in years. Jamal's arm was wrapped around my body and door the first time in a long time my dreams didn't have me crying throughout the night. I bit my lip thinking about my dream, blushed a little even. Jamal meant way too much to me already but right now I wouldn't have it any other way. I bit my lip and caressed cheek then smiled. A hand on my shoulder and I sat up immediately. Lucious "You scared me" I said glancing at Jamal nervously "I don't care what you do with my son as long as you keep it here not out there I don't want you in the press at all" he said sternly pointing between me and him. I looked down and nodded. Lucious has never wanted me in the public eye he said that the privacy I had now would be taken away. I didn't need that so I never fought him over it.... but now it's different I want to go on dates and stuff with Jamal but that requires me to be outside. I put my head in my hands and sighed "What's wrong" Jamal asked rubbing my back lightly "I'm fine" he narrowed his eyes at me "I thought we passed this" he smirking at me. I chuckled and looked at him "We did but um I'm actually feeling better than I have in a long time" I said telling the truth halfheartedly. I didn't want to cause any issues between Jamal and his Dad and it's not that big of a deal. He kissed my cheek "How about we go out today" I smiled "Hmmm that sounds nice but how about I kick your ass in a cooking war. He laughed and shook his head "Bring it" he said pushing me out the way and running out the room. I ran out the room only to be stopped by Lucious. He looked at me then down the hall I'm sure Jamal just ran down. He grabbed me by the arm and shoved new in my room "I meant to ask earlier but I'll ask now....How did Jamal find you" I swallowed "Daddy I'm sorry he just came in with that guy and... Started moving my stuff Daddy you know about my OCD I...I couldn't deal and I had to come of of hiding to get him to stop touching my things" he studied me for a moment then sighed "I didn't want my sons to know about you because I want to keep you safe.... Baby I love you so much and I don't want mixed up in anything or hurt by anyone" he said cryptically "Is there something you know that I don't" I asked feeling like I was missing something "I know for a fact that my son is still dating that Ryan guy" I bit my lip and looked down feeling played and stupid. He hugged like a genuine hug. Lucious may be vindictive and conniving at times but he gas always loved me. I know it doesn't seem like but he does he's different with me. There times when he had the time we would sit in my room and play with dolls or dance till we fell asleep. I didn't notice I was crying until Lucious wiped my eye "You mean more to me than anything I want you to remember that OK.... I just wanna look out for you" he kissed my forehead and hugged me again. He stayed and just like old times he and I laughed and talked about all these different things making me completely forget about Jamal. I knew I was gonna get hurt I knew it CND now I had opened up to him thinking I was gonna get something anything except rejection and pain. But as always they wound up finding me. Jamal walked in and Lucious stood up that anger building up in his eyes. I grabbed Lucious' arm and made him look "I can handle this Dad" he sighed and kissed my forehead then walked out. Jamal raised an eyebrow at Lucious then looked at me "Why was Lucious in here?" He asked "Because he's my father and can be" I said lacing my words in venom "What's with the attitude what did I do or what did Lucious make you think I did" I growled "Lucious didn't make me think anything but he did remind of a certain Ryan that you still date" it was silent and I laughed humorlessly. Why are men so stupid? You can't do anything without spreading yourself thin. I sat cross legged on my bed pulling the covers up to cover them "What now" I asked smartly only causing him to chuckle "I'm not gonna lie I had completely forgotten about Ryan because all that's been in my mind lately has been you... still is" I swallowed hoping that the effect that his words were having on me weren't showing. He drew closer to me "I promise I'll break up with him as soon as I see him because it's not Luke i can just call him and give him bad news like that" he was sitting on my bed holding my cheek and rubbing my thigh. He was so toxic I knew he was two words away from getting what he wanted but I wasn't giving in. He kissed my cheek then my neck drawing circles on it with his tongue "J..j.. Jamal" I stuttered earning a hum in response. He stop kissing kidding my neck and pressed his lips on mine. I kissed back weakly giving in but I couldn't fight it anymore he had me when he first kissed my cheek and there was nothing I could pull to end it. Our lips moved rhythmically and I wrapped my arms around his neck and uncrossed my legs. He began pushing me backward and tightening his grip on my thigh. He hovered over me as our kisses became hungry and desperate. I could feel his hands play with the ends of my shirt and I lifted up a little so he could take it off showing my nude bra with blaze lace covering it. He went back to biting and sucking on my neck. I knew there would be marks I didn't care though soon it would be his turn. I peeled off his shirt flipping us over. I kissed from neck, down his chest until I got to the beginning of his pants sending him a naughty grin. He sat up pulled me back to sit on his lap kissing me harshly taking my pants and throwing them across the room. I pulled off his pants doing the same. I groaned a little when he pulled away touching our foreheads the lost of contact making me antsy "Are you sure you're OK with this" I flipped so he was on top "Yes" I said connecting our lips again a satisfied moan coming out. He popped my bra off licking and sucking the nipple hard. I moaned biting my lip my core throbbing for him. He kissed down my stomach agonisingly slow sliding off my panties running a finger over my wet clit. I started singing like a songbird as he flicked his tongue over me and in me. He stuck two fingers in curling his fingers whilst pushing them in and out deeper and deeper. I grabbed the sheets moaning loudly. Fuck this felt good. I cummed and he pulled out fingers licking my mess up. He pulled off his boxers placing on a condom while I watched his size making me a little nervous. I haven't done this in a long time I don't know if my body can take such daunting size. Nonetheless he slid in causing me to squeal. I have him the OK to continue and with each stroke the pain slipped away ecstasy taking it's place. I moaned connecting my lips to his shoulder and my hands rubbing his back. He started out slow speeding up and intertwining our fingers together as our moans filled the room. He pounded in and out of me and I could my climax coming. Shit. I threw my head back and scratched at his back. I let out a long moan as we finished me going numb my sex high in full effect. Jamal kissed my forehead and spooned with me until I fell asleep.