What Am I?

|3•Breaking|

A week later....

In the morning I felt the loneliness as I always did. I ran a hand through my hair and got up. I did all of my morning cleansing and sat next to my window. How come my parents didn't want me? Was the first question I asked myself touching my face. Am I so ugly so hideous that no one can stand to have me around at all? My thoughts were interrupted by someone shaking me "Nat you OK" Jamal asked me as tears streamed down my face. I snapped out of everything and I wiped my face getting up "I'm fine" I said "Why are you so god damn difficult?" he asked slash yelled "What are you taking about I just met you a week ago what do you want from me" he scoffed "A little honesty... Every morning since I've been here you have been at this window crying yourself to death and every time I see you I wake up out of your daydream and you pretend that nothings wrong....I don't like seeing you like that" I growled running birth my hands through my hair. I started walking back and fourth my hands on my head "WHY DO KEEP ACTING LIKE YOU CARE?!?" I yelled at him making him frown but my rant had only begun. Him coming around every morning like I was important to him in any way "You come around all the time like I mean anything to you when we both know that you don't give a shit about me.... You say nice things treat me better than anyone has in years like I'm any kind of beautiful and all to play with me mess around with my head... Well I'm pretty done with it... JUST STOP IT" he grabbed me and pulled me into him rocking me side to side singing you're so beautiful. I cried on his shoulder letting all my feelings go. He rubbed my back and we sat like that for the longest. I could feel my walls slowly tearing down which made me mad. He doesn't care I'm nothing I keep changing to myself. But it's no longer working Jamal he's messing with me I can't think straight anymore. I pushed him away spinning around. Jamal turned me back and made me face him "I don't want you to ever say anything like that again... You are beautiful and you are my sister" I frowned and chuckled. That's why I couldn't possibly mean anything to him. It's only because he thinks we're related. I sighed and looked down "I'm not your sister I am an orphan Mom found me and brought me to Lucious and I've been with him ever since" I said making some kind of relief spread across his face. I knew it. He is happy I'm not related and now he will end his act and I can be free. I lied to myself knowing that I was hurt. I am nothing.