What Am I?

|9•I love him|

I bit my lip thinking about what Jamal said to me. I missed him so very much but I came start getting in the habit of over looking what a guy has done to me because I love them. Jamal knew I was coming back into this room it's my room. He trashed the place knowing my OCD would go off then fucked a bitch on my sheets. My anger rushed back in my soul as I thought about it but it quickly turned back into love for him as I remembered hoe sorry he looked how his eyes were pleading for me take him back. The memory brought a tear to my eye. I felt a thumb wipe the tear away and I looked to see Hakeem. Yet another reason I can't be with Jamal. I have to figure out what I'm feeling for Hakeem. We hung out all day covering every topic we possibly could. I dodged every single one of his questions about why or how I got to live in the Lyon home. I told one person and look what happened it's a mistake I... But then again was it, don't deny that your dreams stopped with Jamal around. My pesky conscious reasoned making me groan in frustration "Stop thinking about him your making yourself angry" Keem said making me smile "I wasn't thinking about him I was thinking about you and how I was debating on whether or not to kiss you" I said being as cute as I could possibly be. He smirked and pulled me into his lap "You want big daddy.... Then you'll get him" he said picking me up and laying my back on the bed. I smashed my lips onto his noticing hoe soft they were and how different they were from Jamal's. Hakeem wasted no time my shirt being discarded immediately. He felt up on my breasts pinching the more. I moaned into the kiss and he pulled away to place kisses down my jawline. I felt my core pulsating so I grinded my hips on his. He groaned putting more desperation into the kisses. I flipped us rubbing him against his pants and kissing him. I pulled off shirt and connected my lips to his neck. I sucked and bit down on a sensitive part of his neck until I saw a  beautiful red mark that was all my own. Whilst I admired my good work Hakeem flipped waiting no longer an option. He put on a condom and pounded in and out of me until we both climaxed 3 times in a row. Afterwards Hakeem fell asleep, I watched him and reflected on what we just did. There was a strong difference between him and Jamal. With Jamal he went slow agonizing but satisfying. Like he was savoring like I would evaporate and he would never see me again. But Hakeem it passionate and hardcore. I didn't know which one i liked more but I knew I couldn't allow for either of them not to know where I stood with all of this. Hakeem was looking at me now "You having second thoughts" I shook my head "I don't regret what we did I just wished it would've made my feelings clearer. I know I have feelings for you but I have them for Jamal too and it wouldn't be OK for me to not let you know where I stood to lead you on if I already didn't" he chuckled "It's OK I know you love Jamal I can see it don't keep yourself locked away from him because of me. You guys are meant to be Ellie should've never happened. I couldn't deny that he was right. I did love Jamal and distracting myself with Hakeem because of pride is not OK. I sucked it up and sat up. I kissed Hakeem's cheek and he smiled understandingly. It was surprising that he wasn't upset but sort of unrealistic. I know in the inside he was hurting but for him to care about enough to give me up makes me all the more happy. I ran to Jamal's room bursting through the door. He only had on some old jeans with some socks. I pounced on him kissing him harshly. He kissed back wrapping his arms around me tighter than he ever has. He stroked my hair "I love you I love you so much baby" he kissing my head "I love you too" he looked down at nee surprise etched in his features. He pulled my face up to his and kissed me. The kiss was long and sweet. I could just by kissing and hugging him that we missed each other. I tugged at jeans and he instantly knew what that b meant smirking into the kiss and grabbing me by the hips. I love him. I love Jamal Lyon.