What Am I?

|7•Ellie|

In the morning I turned and saw Jamal sleeping peacefully making me smile. I kissed his lips softly making him stir slightly but not waking him up. I kissed him again but this time he responded his hands tightening around my waist and he slid his tongue across my bottom lip. I pulled away and he groaned in displeasure "No come back" he whined pulling me into him. I giggled and pushed back "Wake up" he chuckled "I'm up now come back" I smirked feeling playful. I spun around putting my back to his chest. He groaned again but then got over it and started stroking my hair. It felt nice, soothing "Why do you do that?" I asked "What" he did frowning "Make me feel like I could be anything more than the nobody I am" he sat up making me sit up "Can you not say stuff like that.... Who even told you something like that" he said the similar fire that I've seen in Lucious' eyes. Like father like son. I bit the inside of my cheek "The woman who ran the orphanage made it her life's mission to make sure I remembered that I meant nothing to anyone" his anger burned brighter and put my head in his hands "You might not mean anything to her but you mean everything to me" he said walking off. There it is again I don't understand why he gets so mad. I'm not trying to fool myself into thinking I was anything so he should be happy I'm not delusional. His brother and a new face came in the room. I scrunched up my eyebrows "I'm Ellie" she said reading my mind "Why did my brother walk out of here with nothing but underwear on" Hakeem said wiggling his eyebrows. A certain type of sadness ran across Ellie's face "Yea I saw that too" she said playing off her sadness to no avail. She was beyond pretty she had blonde waves flowing down her back and crystal blue eyes. She was curvy and knew it wearing all black. A black crop top and black jeans with ankle boots. My thoughts were scattered all over when she snapped her fingers in my face "What" I said blinking "You were starring" she said smirking making me narrow my eyes at her. What was she playing at? I cleared my throat and looked down knowing I was blushing "Sorry I was daydreaming" making Hakeem smirk "Yea she was thinking about how good Jamal was" he said making me blush even harder. And Ellie slap Hakeem's shoulder. Then someone cleared their throat and we looked to see Jamal and Andre... I think in the doorway. Jamal winked at me coming over to sit next to me. I put face in my and hiding my bluish. Andre laughed "Can we not talk about my brother like this" he said looking Ellie up and down shamelessly. Ellie caught him and he winked at her. What was that? Well I guess my suspicions were wrong she's not gay or is that lesbian. Jamal looked at me strangely "Hello earth to Natty" I giggled "You OK" he asked raising an eyebrow at me "Yea just thinking" tuning back into the conversation. Hakeem chuckled "As I was saying Natty how hard did you go cause I haven't seen you walk yet" I got up and I walked over popping him in the back of the head. I ignored the searing pain that presented itself in between my legs and walked back. Jamal was laughing hard and Ellie just shook her head. This was nice. I looked around the room at the people who were standing before me and I realized how much my life has changed. I've gone from being completely alone to joking around with my boyfriend and his family or my family. The guys left something about Empire. Me and Ellie talked for a long time and we told each other a lot. I hadn't told her everything but I did tell her bits and pieces. I saw subtle hints that what I thought earlier was true and I thought now that we were better friends I'd voice my question "Are into women?" I asked suddenly making her eyes widen "Um..... Wow are you always so straightforward" I looked down guiltily "No no don't feel bad it's just I've never been asked like that... And um yea I'm bisexual" I knew it I just knew it. She bit her lip scooting closer to me. And I stood up "Hey wanna play just dance 2014" she sighed and smiled weakly "Yea sure" I pulled out the Wii remotes and placed the game in. I kept beating Ellie because I knew every step. She wasn't rally trying though her eyes were glued to my body as I moved to the beat. I stopped dancing and breathed out "Want something to drink" I asked and she looked as if an idea came into her brain "How about you take a shower while I make my famous lemonade" I smiled and nodded frantically lemonade sounded perfect. I jumped in the shower and let the water wash away all the sweat I built up dancing. I felt a warm body press up against me in the shower and drop their hands down and massaging my clit. I bit my lip and turned around expecting Jamal. But I was wrong it was Ellie in the shower with me still massaging my clit making my words get caught up in my throat as she stuck two fingers in me. I wanted to push her away but the burning sensation coming from my core was telling me continue. I pushed her away "Ellie this is wrong" I said keeping my hand on her chest "Says who" she said coming back putting her hand back in place and attacking my sweet spot. I moaned but pushed her away again "I say" I said walking out and drying myself off. I heard the door slam and my heart jump. I walked into my room to see Jamal and Hakeem in the bedroom. Anger was seething off the top of Jamal's head and Hakeem looked concerned. Ellie came out the bathroom undressed making Hakeem turn away and Jamal look down. She ran back in the bathroom and Hakeem left. Jamal grabbed my arm and pulled me into him "You cheating on me already" he said his anger making his grip tighten and flashes of Rodney hitting me going off in my brain. I started to cry "No I'm sorry please.... I didn't do anything" he growled "What you think I'm stupid I come in here and I hear moaning then a naked woman come out of the bathroom... what is that your thing you lure people in with your sob story and then break them in half" his voice kept getting louder and louder. My knees started to shake and I pulled myself out of his grip running away. I ran until I found my father's room. I curled up in his covers letting his smell enclose me. I stayed there for hours crying. It's my fault this happened if I had just fought harder he wouldn't have tried to hurt me. We didn't do anything wrong. Yes we did we didn't fight we let her. Stop doing this to us. You stop. My thoughts ended as the covers were pulled off of me and a pair of arms pulled me into them. I fought them pushing them away. No one is ever allowed to touch me again. I don't want it "Natty it's me.... Natty... Natty... Cool down" he said stroking my back softly. His breathing calmed me down and made me fall asleep. I woke up to someone shaking me "What are you doing in my bed with my son who is not Jamal and naked too" Lucious whispered and yelled at the same time. I looked over at Hakeem who was sleeping peacefully "We didn't do anything... Jamal and I got into a fight and.... Daddy he scared me so bad I...I ran I needed you but you weren't here so I cuddled up in your covers because they smelled like you.... Hakeem came and saw me crying I guess... and he came and comforted me" Lucious sighed hugging me. I cried softly into his shoulder wanting to be quiet for Hakeem to sleep. After being nice enough to be there for me waking him up was not something I wanted to do. I pulled out of the hug and walked to my room. I should be OK now I think. I opened the door and I wanted to cry.