Feels like home.

Part 6.

I was getting ready for tonight, just like Damon told me to. I don´t know why I actually did what he said, maybe because I was a little curious about his plans, I was really down for some distraction and getting my mind off of Stefan. I was still staying at the motel and I wanted to get out so desperately, maybe I would buy a nice little house for myself. I looked at the clock, it was half past 7 and I needed to get some fresh air, I started to feel claustrophobic inside this room, it was like the walls were getting closer and closer to me and wanted to crush me. Damon would find me anyway by following my scent or however he always did, so I went out and started running through the woods again. It was like my feet had their own will, like I had no control anymore. The trees were flying past me, they were nothing but a blur of brown and green, it was a comforting sight. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of my old house. The house looked empty and desolated and suddenly I was overwhelmed by sadness again. All my precious memories of mom and dad, aunt Jenna, Jeremy and all my friends were in there, my whole previous life was there. But I realized I didn´t feel regret. Of course I felt guilty because of what I did, but I didn´t regret leaving. It did made me stronger and it changed me. I learned to control myself and stand up for myself. I just, had to lose a lot of people along the way and that was what hurt me. Did I really want to leave again? I asked myself, but maybe that wasn't the right question. Was I able to leave? No, absolutely not, I tried to convince myself otherwise but it was a lost case, I finally felt home again and a broken part of me was healed, I still had a long way to go, but it was something right?. Looks like I already made my decision, I'm moving back here again.

I felt wind behind me and I didn't have to turn around to know who was there. 'Hi Damon.' I heard him murmur something but didn't hear what, which was strange ‘cause my hearing was supposed to be extremely sensitive. 'I thought I had you, guess you're not that easy to scare anymore.' 'Well, I have had some years of practice don't you think?' 'It's still yours you know.' He said, pointing to the house. 'It is?' I thought Jeremy would have sold it, or Bonnie or someone. 'Like duh. Jeremy never sold it, guess he'd known you would come back eventually.' I smiled, of course Jeremy wouldn't sell it, he knew me too well. 'I can't live there. It brings to many memories.' 'Memories aren't always a bad thing you know. They remind you of your past and help you learn from it. Memories are meant to make you happy, they make you stronger.' He didn't say it with his always present ironic tone. I stared at his face, trying to see if he was being serious or not. 'And sometimes well, you need to be reminded of the bad things too, so you won't make the same mistake again.' 'So that's what this is about huh?' So that was what he was trying to do. 'I don't know what you're talking about.' He said with a smirk on his face. 'I'm not going to leave again Damon. Get over yourself.' 'Well if you're going to stay here, I suggest you get rid of that ridiculous hair.' I cocked my eyebrows at him. 'Excuse me? I like being a blonde.' He laughed. 'No you look like a Barbie.' I punched his arm. 'Thanks, knew I could count on you. But seriously, I don't know if I'm ready to see Stefan this soon. He probably doesn’t even want to see me and I don’t blame him.' 'He seemed happier today you know. I saw him at the Grill. I think he's finally moving on.' Damon sighed and suddenly he looked really old and tired in a way I had never seen before. Vampire may not age physical, but they age mentally and I could see Damon was exhausted. 'I'm gonna make it right Damon, I swear. I’m going to do whatever it takes.' He smiled at me, he smiled his real smile I had missed so much. I couldn't help myself and threw my arms around him, not because I was in love with him, just to let him know I cared.

'I care about you Damon, I really do. You have all the right to be mad at me, but you have to know you don't have to do it all alone anymore. Tell me what I need to do to make it right. I would do everything so you wouldn’t hate me as much anymore.' I felt his tense shoulders relax and he carefully wrapped his arms around my waist. I could feel his walls breaking down, not very fast and all at once, but brick by brick. 'It was hard you know, watching Stefan hurt like that. He reminded me of someone, myself. I acted the same way when I found who Katherine really was..' 'I know, you don't have to pretend you're the bad guy. We’re way past that point don’t you think?' And for a moment, I could actually believe that everything was going to be alright again, I even allowed myself to think that, to feel that. After a while he let go of me but he kept his gaze on my face. 'If you ever tell someone about this, I'll hunt you down.' He said warning me, but with a smile in his eyes. I shook my head, smiling too. 'I won't.' 'I have to admit Elena, you're not the 18 year old teenager anymore. You really are an adult now.' 'Thanks, that means a lot coming from someone who occasionally acts like a 5 year old.' 'Never mind, you're still the same. Guess some things never change, don’t they?'

'I think you need to school again.' Damon said. We were at the Grill again, in a dark corner of course so we wouldn't draw any attention to ourselves. 'Excuse me, why? Is this really coming from the same Damon I spoke with a few seconds ago?' 'To meet new people Elena. This town has changed you know. The people have changed. Besides, Stefan, Caroline and Tyler still attend school.' That made me think about his plan. 'Well.. I could try. But not before I've told them about.. me.' 'It's a deal then.' We toasted and talked about nothing in particular, we just had fun. I told him about England, and the big library they had at the university. 'Jeez, you're such a dork Elena. You were in another country and you did all the things you could have done here. I expected better from you, miss Gilbert.' 'Elena?' I stiffened at that voice, cursing Damon and myself for being so indiscrete. Maybe this was a good thing, better have the confrontation now than later right? I couldn’t chicken out now and I was forced to look up.