So let's all ignore the fact that I have two (2) exams in person tomorrow and a brutal homework assignment, due tomorrow at midnight.
Because that's what I'm doing right now, the day before, at 5:02 PM (holy crap, I really should keep studying).
But this is therapeutic!
Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while—work and school got really hectic (like it won't in the coming weeks). And I want to keep my Dean's List streak up because this is the last quarter I'll be taking a full load of classes (to qualify for the List).
So! There are some days when it's my time of the month where I get... delusional.
For example. Three months ago, on day 2, I came home and started laughing hysterically at a banana.
And then I cried. Not because of the laughing, no no no. No tears of laughter. I just straight-up sobbed.
And then I used the banana to call my friend, giggling like a hyena on crack.
These three events happened within a span of a full five minutes.
Yet, here I am, in my bed, moping over my two exams tomorrow and one homework assignment that I know for certain will ravage me because our Professor treats us like his colleagues at work and doesn't give us a clear explanation (even when we ask him) of what the hell to do.
By this, I mean his assignment description is like six lines long (bullet points! Not sentences!) and then he deducts points for things he didn't even ask to put on there.
Okay, enough ranting.
Here's the entry.
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You know how long it's taken me to read Moby-Dick?
I started in April.
It already sounds bad, but let me clarify.
April... of 2018.
And I got 80% of the way through. This thing is only over 300 pages long. I took hiatuses.
So I've got a good reason to quote the Twelfth Doctor, even though he was my least favorite:
"Just shut up and get to the whale."
However, that quote is really nice. It resonated with me—temporarily, I suppose. I don't really know what it means, but I think it's about strength not having to do with size or bruteness, but with grace and humility and... wonder. And magic, apparently.
The superpower I wrote there was interesting. I guess I had just watched a bunch of free-diving videos and—
Oh.
...
Oh, that's what the quote means.
How incredibly humans look so blended in to the sea, yet so far apart from it, when free-diving. Underwater archaeologists. Marine mammals. Explorers. Earth-bound astronauts.
Sometimes I get visions of myself and my current crush floating back-to-back among the stars—except, the stars are little golden balls of light in a purple sky, rotating around us as a supernova happens in the background. Both of our eyes are sad and curious and filled with wonder. Our fingers are intertwined loosely, holding onto each other by a thread. Neither of us are afraid of letting go, though. One of us will reach out to the other. Pull them back in. Bury their face in the crook of the other's neck. Our hair both messy. Our clothes might get rumpled. They might even give me a peck on the shoulder.
If I look closely, I can see the flecks of gold in their eyes. If they have glasses, which a lot of the times they do, those glasses will glint and shine with the surrounding light.
Their fingers are long and thin and delicate and almost... feminine. I don't care about the gender of the person. Long, thin, delicate, smooth, quick and eager, mesmerizing, cool, but not cold.
Surprisingly, the image is grounding. I've created it with such depth in my mind—I could never draw it. But I see it in my mind when I'm in love.
This is my romanticized idea of soulmates. It's—literally—impossible, like me falling in love with a (fictional) character and hoping they'll ever like me back. It's impossible like how I expect people to like me romantically even though I have done nothing, practiced nothing, said nothing to indicate it.
It's impossible like how the idea of me getting into a relationship is impossible.
The current superpower I'm imagining for my OC is light manipulation.
So, I could summon balls of light from indoor lights. They're about the size of grapefruits by default, but I can squeeze and the ball becomes denser, intenser, hotter, brighter. I can change the color by rotating my hand and make it any wavelength on the spectrum, including infrared and UV. And when I do that, and push the ball into my chest, my heart, I become invisible to the other people around me who can't see IR or UV. Conversely, if I summon light and rotate until it is on the visible spectrum, I can become visible.
Oh, and I can also char my enemies. I point at the light and then fling my hand toward my enemy, and a white-hot beam will explode from the source and slowly burn them to a crisp.
And I can fly. No wings, no thrusters, but I can float and fly.
So, given all that, I could literally create the gold-star-purple-sky world around me. It would be possible.
Yes.
It would be possible... given two key ingredients.
