Yes, I'm going in reverse chronological order, I realized a while back.
I remember this day vividly—it was summer of 2020 (goodness, a while ago) and I was in the closet after changing into my outfit, and for some reason I decided to whip out my new debit card and verify it in there.
I remember leaning on my side of the wall (where my clothes are) and putting the phone on speaker and waiting. Tapping my debit card nervously in my hands.
I know that getting a debit card verified—verified—doesn't mean you get money. But I thought of it at the time. And it was a very hot day that day anyways. I was working up to something. Something that I thought was big, no doubt, and would help my social skills at the very least. But I hoped it would make the debit card person feel better, as well.
I hate the "we're all in this together" thing that everyone—ahem, celebrities—have been spouting over the past two years. But I felt burnt out (literally and academically) and I'm guessing the debit card person felt burnt out too.
So this is what I did.
Here's the entry.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I feel like this should be a normal thing, to ask workers how they feel. Why not? They're doing so much for us and we take them for granted to help with our shopping, clean our facilities, verify our cards so we can get money and we can be happy. It's like we treat them like machines and we expect them to be there for us. But they're human too, obviously. They might also conk out on their couches or play shooters or have violent pillow fights with their siblings or make an actually healthy, delicious dinner in a pot.
I don't know why I thought asking the debit card person how they were feeling was so big for me. In all honesty, maybe it was because I've never done it before—and I know how that makes me look. Or maybe I'm just soft-spoken. Usually when cashiers or other essential workers ask me how I am, like "Hi! How are you?" I respond back, "Hi! I'm doing good, you?" And I think I'm so soft-spoken that they can't actually hear the you. That or they can't divulge how they're feeling, which I get.
But I do remember the happiness I felt when I asked that. I was like, "yeah, there's one more thing, um, I'm just wondering how - how you're feeling right now, I mean all things considered, um, yeah" and I felt my stomach drop a few feet. But then they responded and we had a legit conversation and it was amazing.
And then a few days later, I did it again. Here's a partial entry from August 4, 2020.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Okay yeah, you right. You right. This was interesting. I remember he was scanning some bell peppers while he said this.
Let it sink in...
Anyway, that's all for today. I'm going to go complete my work to mitigate the risk of my boss roasting me (she's really nice tho haha).
...
Hmm. I made dinner for my family yesterday. Some Indian version of Thai Green Curry. Everyone liked it. Of course my brother, a certified Spice King 🌶, said he didn't feel any spice at all even though I basically sprinkled the entire pot with red chili flakes.
I might include broccoli next time if I wasn't so chicken about cutting it.
And I'll actually remember to marinate the paneer before going out to get the veggies.
