dominoes | an encanto angst au

in the eyes of pepa madrigal

*Pepa's POV*

All my life, I was forced to bottle up my emotions, as it may give the citizens of this town a hard time. It felt wrong, but it also felt right, as I felt that this will also be the consequence of my gift, and if I create a huge enough hurricane, I might unintentionally kill someone.

I think of myself as a big burden, as when I was a child, I would create a huge storm after I got my knee scraped. Julieta would always come to the rescue, and would make me happy.

"Okay Pepa, always imagine the skies are clear as summer if you ever feel sad, okay?"

I'm now chanting "clear skies" again. I miss her too much.

Felix, mi amor. I met him after he noticed me sad in a corner near the farms while he was going home from football. He went home because it started to drizzle because of me.

"Hello, are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine, I'm just bringing rain for the farmers," I responded.

"Wait, I have an idea!"

He then started to joke around, and it made me laugh so much that I started crying out of laughter, and we laughed and laughed for hours, until he went home. So I also returned home.

It sparked.

...

"Pepa, the miracle is dying," my mother sternly said.

"The only solution is to have another child, we can't have Julieta pregnant as she already sired a giftless child."

"Okay, mama. I'll have one once I'm ready."

I did want to have another child, as I was already in my 40s and it will probably bring complications during the birth of the child. But if that is what it takes to save the magic, to save the miracle, then I'll do it.

...

I'm so sick and tired of hearing, Pepa you have a cloud, Pepa calm down, etcetera. I'm so sick and tired of not being able to express my emotions.

I wished I had not received a gift in the first place.

...

Julieta was the best sister I could ask for. She would comfort me,calm me down, let me rant to her, and I looked up to her. She cared for me like a mother would, more than my own mother.

I don't know why Mama has been like that, but she keeps on telling us the reason was her grievance for Papa, who got beheaded in front of us when we were about two months old, and my mom was 25.

Mirabel, the one who stood out, was kind of annoying after she kept on mentioning Bruno to me, but she was a great prima to Antonio, she was his best friend. Antonio was never the same when she...died.

Mirabel may have brought me storms, but she is still my niece no matter what, she was Julieta's child. She stood out, she wanted to look for Bruno, something I never would have the courage to do.

...

10 years ago, my brother went missing.

"Julieta...Bruno is not in his room."

It hurted me to know that my brother was gone. We could not find him anywhere. Me and Julieta were distraught. I was storming for days, and days.

Then I thought of a painful idea. I will only remember the times he annoyed me so I'll be happy he's gone. I did that to cope until I forgot about it, as no one talked about Bruno anymore.

But why would Mama make her own son a taboo topic? To Mama, Bruno was dead to her.

"And if there's a reason I'm still alive when so many have died, the I'm willing to wait for it"