𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 || bsd x oc

𝟔. 𝐋𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡

4 years prior

I still remember the day I went on my first mission with Chuuya. It was a strange day. Just like Osamu would probably want me to, I teased him a lot that day. Although there were some moments I just couldn't. I still don't understand why but back in those moments I was just tired of this hole 'having emotions' act I've been doing almost non-stop for 3 years.

It still confuses me. When Chuuya said that there is nothing unique about me, he was right. This is all an act inspired by the behavior of other's. I know that already and I also accepted that that's just the way I am.

So why did it hurt so much when he said that?

Did it hurt? I wasn't physically hurt so why do I think I was hurt? Was it some kind of feeling?

If so, was it different from the feeling I get every time Osamu praises me? I'm pretty sure it was.

I decided to ignore whatever happened to me back then and hoped that Chuuya would forget about it when I just annoy him enough.

Sometimes he made me even forget that I was pretending when I was with him. Though it wasn't really often that we were able to really spend time together because I still was Osamu's subordinate back then.

That changed not long after that too.

One day Rintarou called me to his office and told me that he wants to promote me and become one of the mafia's executives. I always flawlessly carried out my missions and since I was not only physically strong but also almost undefeatable with my ability, he said that I would have deserved that position even sooner.

After officially being an executive now there were many changes in my life again. I first thought that I wouldn't want to be apart from Osamu but when he told me that there is nothing he can teach me anymore and that I should become more independent now, I started to get used to my executive life. I had a lot more duties to fulfill now but I still managed handling everything perfectly, not wanting to disappoint Osamu or Rintarou.

The only thing that didn't change was the emptiness that was still resident inside of me. How much longer will I have to pretent to finally get rid of it? Is it even possible? I just want it to end.

Akutagawa POV

I was heading towards the elevator after I delivered some documents to Chuuya, just like Dazai wanted me to. I first argued about why he would give me such a lowly task but soon I accepted it and passed by Chuuya's office. Walking through the halls I suddenly heard the voice of the person I despised the most in the whole mafia.

"Hey Aku-kun~ wait for meee!"

Of course I decided to not listen to her and started to walk even faster in order to reach the elevator before the owner of the voice could catch up with me.

"Are you deaf or something?"

And there left the last bit of hope I had. I was able to avoid Sora for most of the time but every time I did see her she was standing by Dazai's side and not me. What made her better than me? Why does Dazai only acknowledge her and never me?

I despise every single part of her.

"Sometimes people just don't want to hear certain people. And besides, don't you ever dare to call me that again."

I snapped at her as I turned around just to start walk away from her again after I finished what I said.

"Ohh~ someone's in a pretty bad mood, aren't you?"