~Paige
August 2, 2015
It's 2am and I can't fall asleep. My mind has been replaying everything that happened with Calum hours prior.
Making out, about to take it one step further, stopping, apologizing, repeat.
I adore every single thing about Calum and can't see myself being with anyone else, but we can't be together. Not now at least.
I've never been the type to associate myself with boys and get involved with relationships. My parents ruined what a good relationship is supposed to look like for me a long time ago. It would take a miracle for me to fully commit my mind, body, and soul into having a boyfriend. I can't do that to Calum.
The tour bus is quiet meaning the boys are most likely asleep. I decide on getting water and heading straight back to my bunk to try and sleep.
Tomorrow we have a long day of flights ahead of us and I can't risk being exhausted the whole time. I still have to finish editing the 'She's Kinda Hot' music video.
I open the curtain to the bunk and to my surprise see Calum's -who's bunk is right across from mine- wide open. He's distracted with something on his phone and has his headphones over his ears probably too focused to even notice I'm awake.
When I met Calum for the first time, I never expected anything like this to happen between us. We connected from the start and have miraculously overcome every obstacle we've faced thus far. It sometimes makes me feel sad that we've been put through this much and yet we're still okay somehow.
Would it be too much to ask for a normal life at this point? A life where Calum wasn't famous and I was just a photographer for our school's yearbook.
I wonder how much easier our relationship would've been if that were the case.
A few crew members and our stage manager are up at the front of the bus working and having quiet conversations. I don't want to be a distraction so as quietly as I possibly can, I grab a water bottle from the fridge and walk back over to my bunk.
Its crazy how comfortable I feel in this environment. I am wearing nothing but a 5 Seconds of Summer sweater from their merchandise, comfortable shorts, and fuzzy socks.
I drink from the water bottle as I walk back over to my bunk and am about to slide back in when warm hands wrap around my waist and pull me backwards, ultimately making me land in the opposite bunk.
"What are you doing?" Calum whispers.
I brush the hair out of my face that went everywhere from the impact, "I was getting water." I whisper back.
"It's late," He says, adjusting our positions so that we could be more comfortable. "You should be sleeping."
"I should be telling you the same thing." The two of us look at each other as if there is so much we both want to say but so little time. I was the one that ended things completely between us just a few hours ago, I've already said what I needed to say.
Before Calum had a chance to bring up what happened I beat him to it, "What were you doing on your phone?"
He turns on his side to face me completely, "Just scrolling through twitter." I nod my head not knowing what else to say or do.
How can two people be doing so well then have that entirely ruined in a matter of minutes?
"Im okay by the way," He says, noticing my change in mood. "I can deal with the fact that you're not ready and that the timing for us just isn't right."
YOU ARE READING
Ghost Of You | cth
Fanfiction"Promise me you'll be fine?" She said as the two of held onto each other's hands for dear life. "I'll be just fine." I said kissing her hand and reassured her through my tears.
