SILENT (MV x CL)

21. NEW YEAR

4 days later, 31st of December

Max had arrived in Mexico three days ago. Alex and he continued their daily calls, however they were shorter and less fun then normal. Alex had reacted a bit more distantly and Max couldn't figure out why. Alex of course was careful with his words as he had trouble keeping his secret from Max.

Max had spend the last couple of days surrounded by people, it was a good distraction, but Charles had been lingering in his mind every second. He had been drinking way too much and every time he got back to his hotel he was  on the verge of calling Charles. He eventually never did, realising how he had grabbed his arm and threw him to the ground, that could never happen again.

He felt numb, not sure if could feel happiness or sadness anymore. He didn't even know if he was still really alive.

The thought had daunted him that he would start a new year soon. Not only him of course, everyone. Like they say "new year, new me". How could he be a new him if he didn't know who he was?

Charles was also experiencing some struggles. All of his friends were having the time of their lives and Charles pretended to have his too. It was difficult with a broken heart. He started to doubt if it could every be fixed again. 

To Charles' relieve, Joris had let him be the past few days. Charles expected it was because Joris had realized that his couldn't be fixed right now, or maybe ever, and not by him. But he couldn't be more wrong with his prediction. Joris was happy, and left his alone, because he knew everything would be okay after tonight, at least he hoped so.

Charles had accepted the change of plans, it wouldn't make any difference anyway. on top of that Joris had convinced him and the other that this other party would be way more awesome. Of course Charles nor the others knew the real reason.

Now he was standing in the middle of a crowd of people he didn't know, or even wanted to get to know. He felt a responsibility however to make this a good night. He had been grumpy and short towards his friends and he felt guilty about that. So he had to make himself to have fun tonight.

Max had spend the entire day drinking already, but it was like he couldn't get drunk anymore. Sure he was tipsy, but drunk? No. He had arrived at the party, wearing a cap with a boobies drawing on it.

That afternoon he had spotted it inside his suitcase. He had stared at the animated tits on it. He tried to think of all the girls he had seen naked, hoping he would feel something, but he didn't. Staring at the cap, his mind started to drift off. The feeling of Charles' lips in his neck and his hands on his body, popped into his mind. A tingle spread across his body. Then ofcourse he remembered that he could not think about that and closed the thoughts.

Max, you can't think about that anymore!

He wanted to close the cabinet in his brain that contained that memory, but it had no lock and kept opening up, letting the memory back into his head at random times.

Remember Max, You hurt him.

He was sitting on a barstool in the upper area of the party. Max kept his drink close to him and  every now and then and ordered a new one. Once every ten minutes or so someone joined him and started a conversation. If it was a guy he would crack a joke or two and acted like he was having the best night of his life.

With every women that came to talk to him, he forced himself to look at their bodies, he flirted with them, just trying to feel something. He sometimes even touched them in indelicate places. It wasn't like they weren't beautiful too, it were the kind of girls he normally would've taken home with him. After trying for what felt like way too long, it didn't give him any satisfaction. Then he would send them away in the most friendly way he possible could, hiding his disappointment, and then turn to his drink again.