Free Fall

Burden

Now that I was finally in my room all alone I started to unpack all my things. There weren't really much things anyways. I had a knife for obvious reasons, some spare clothes that would all say I am a happy child and don't have problems at all. Most of them were in a very bright green and not black or some dark colors. I even had neon coloured things with me. Then there was a bandage kit and some meds since I do get hurt a lot... Purposely most if the time but also accidentally.

This room is kinda big for one person...

What's up with the high ceiling?

Is he planning to come from time to times?

Does he check into our dorm rooms?

It is his agency after all...

I should hide the medical kit and the knife.

Probably not under the bed or near some obvious place.

First thing I noticed was that the room I was staying which looked probably exactly like Tokoyamis, didn't have a toilet or even a shower in it. Now I finally understand why the secretary insisted that we would follow her twice this floor since it was important to know that we had a whole room just with showers and like 6 smaller rooms with a toilet and a sink in it. It kinda reminds me like prison. Not that I ever been there but from what I read online they would have something like this.

The room itself was very minimalistic and I kinda liked it. Everything here was saying that we were a burden to him and that we should be happy with what we have.

He must not have enough time to deal with the rooms...

Maybe he doesn't care about us.

Yeah that's probably it.

We are a burden to him!

He isn't even here because of a mission.

Why did he even take two kids in when we were a burden to him?

I don't get it.

Why bother and take more in when one alone was trouble?

Tokoyami is a fine guy and he is bird related so maybe not as much of a burden like I am....

I am really wondering why he took me in...

I could have just signed up for a police station...

This would also have been just the perfect opportunity for me to try and drop out!

All Might wouldn't have liked it tho.

I still need to get stronger if I want to achive anything.

At this rate I am just slowing everyone down.

I bet I will even slow down and bother Tokoyami's training!

Come to think of it...

I doubt we will train together...

Me: *Sigh* I have a lot to learn... A lot more stronger to get...

It was just sickening thinking about all my flaws. I wasn't strong enough to wield OfA. I wasn't smart enough to outsmart Bakugo and the rest of my class in combat. I wasn't agile enough to even dodge some simple attack. I can't help my mom with finances because I am to young for that. ... I don't even see one good point about myself.

There were also soo much and soo high expectations I need to reach!

All Mights wants a perfect successor that would also follow his path. Bakugo wants a punching bag. Aizawa thinks we are problematic and wants hs all expelled. Tho there times he acts more as a father figure to us and treats us all nicely. My mom wants me to survive and follow my dream as well go home which is contradicting at its own....

There was just soo much. All I wanted was to rest but there was no time for that! If I wanted to improve, I needed to get a lot stronger. Still I felt the urge to relieve some stress and normally I would have my own bathroom to do so and cover for the blood I spill. It wasn't hard to clean off the ground or the sink if blood goes there but this room! We had a wooden floor and it would for sure smell like blood not to mention how hard it will be to hide.

I really wish there was a bathroom in my room...

How will I be able to feel the pain of living?

How should I clean blood away and hide the scent if it?

I didn't expect this!

I should have gotten some candles...

That's it!

Tokoyami!

He always has some sage and black candles!

Maybe I could get some?

Or not...

If I asked him for that then wouldn't I be bothersome?

I would basically ask him to give me something without any returns...

But it is my only hope!

Since I felt like I releaving some stress and the only way was to basically cut myself slightly and then watch the blood drip down. This was basically what was calming me down. I kinda liked watching my own blood coming from the cut and collecting itself in a bubble before it would be to heavy and then sliding down my skin and drip to the ground. It was a slow process if I didn't cut into deep and it was releaving me. Not only did I liked watching the blood drop move but also the stinging sensation that came with it. 

However the problem was that it was nearly impossible to do something like this in such a room like ours. Tho it was not impossible either.

After putting my mind to it, I decided to go to the room right next to me and ask for some or more like one candle. There was after all such a high chance that Tokoyami had a black candle since he kinda did love to try and summon something from what I heard but to be honest I just think he likes them because they are black and because he needs something to illuminate the night and calm down his own quirk Dark Shadow. In my opinion he was scared of the quirk in the dark since the quirk only grows extremely powerful in darkness and doesn't want anything else but to protect her master. If Tokoyami didn't tell me that Tokoyami is a girl I would have instantly gone for him since same gender and everything. I know I was a hypocrite! I shouldn't do that at all.

Once I went outside and arrived in front of Tokoyami's room which was basically next to mine, I stopped for a second and started thinking of a good reason for asking for a candle. It was unlike me after all. He surely will think that I was weak and scared of the dark which only would make me a burden to him again. I couldn't have that so I needed a legit answer that would seem logical.

Okay...

Why would he gave me a candle?

Better question!

Why would one need a candle?

Stress relieveing?

I would seem very week if I would say that.

Burning?

He will surely say I am insane for that one.

Arson?

Can't do that or I will be the villain?

.....

Why not just go out of the agency to the next supermarket which has 24h open and buy one?

I think I saw one on the way here...

Shouldn't be that away...

Yeah let's do that!

Otherwise I will embarrass myself and also look weak and burden him.

I don't want that!