You Should Love Me

Prologue

Warning!

There's a depiction of violence and abuse in this chapter. If you have previous traumas that can be triggered, please don't continue.

***

"You deserve this, Rosan." He uttered nang tigilan akong paghahampasin ng latigo sa likod ng mga tauhan ko na dating tapat sa akin pero ngayon ay bumaligtad sa akin para kumampi kay Benard, ang aking asawa. Ang asawa kong nagtaksil sa akin. He framed me kaya ako nandito ngayon.

My body is covered with wounds and cuts gawa ng pagtotorture nila sa akin. Pero wala na akong nararamdaman pa. I feel numb. This pain is nothing compared to the pain that he gave me.

"They can't help you, Rosan. They thought you were dead. Your friends can't help you here. Poor you." He chuckled.

"Why don't you just kill me now, Benard?" Giit ko as I spit blood from my mouth.

"Where's the fun in that, Rosan?" He chuckled.

"Give her the meal and make sure she eats, she needs to stay alive." Utos nito sa mga tauhan niya kaya nga pinasok na ng isang tauhan ang pagkain ko at ang isang tauhan niya ay dahan-dahan nang kinalas ang chains na nakakabit sa kamay ko.

What's the point of keeping me here, Benard? What's the point of living if you stole everything from me. I don't want to live anymore. I want to end this fvcking life with you.

Nang ilapag nila ang pagkain sa harap ko ay agad kong hinablot ang bread knife at sinaksak sa sarili ko. Huli na nang pigilan ako ng mga tauhan niya. Lalo kong binaon ang kutsilyo sa tiyan ko hanggang sa umagos na ang dugo mula sa tiyan ko.

"ROSAN!" He shouted nang bumagsak ako pero napangisi na lang ako.

"I-I won, B-Benard." Sabi ko hanggang sa naramdaman ko na ang pagbigat ng talukap ng mga mata ko.

I'm sorry Mom, Dad, Tori, Ivan. I didn't keep my promise to be a good leader of the South. If only I could go back and make things right. I will never fall into Benard's trap again.

_

"Rosan? Rosan?" Nagising ako bigla nang marinig ang isang tinig. Tinig na matagal ko nang gustong marinig ulit. Nang idilat ko ang mata ko ay bumungad sa akin si Mom. Bigla akong napabangon sa pagkakahiga at tinitigan siya. Agad ko din siyang hinawakan kung totoo ba siya dahil baka nananaginip lang ako.

"Rosan are you alright? Do you feel any pain?" Tanong niya.

Nagsimulang umagos ang luha ko nang mapagtanto na totoong nasa harap ko ang Mom ko. I cried as I hugged her tightly. I can't believe this. My Mom is alive. She's alive.

If this is a dream please don't wake me up. I just want to stay here with her. I fvcking hate myself for letting my husband killed my own mother. I hate myself for being fvcking weak.

"Rosan? What's wrong?" She asked nang kumalas ako sa yakap pero umiling-iling lang ako bilang sagot.

"The jefe is here, jefa." Sabi ng maid kasabay nito ay ang pagpasok ni Dad kaya nanlaki ang mata ko.

"Rosan, finally you're awake. You made us worried." Sabi niya pero nanatili akong nakatitig sa kaniya at hindi pa din makapaniwala. Dad is alive too.

Nagulat siya nang bigla akong yumakap sa kaniya. Naiyak na naman ako ulit hanggang sa mapahagulgol. Paulit-ulit akong humingi ng tawad for not keeping my promise.

"I-I'm sorry Dad, I'm very sorry. I failed to keep my promise to you. I failed as a leader of the South. I'm very sorry." Patuloy kong hagulgol. Parehas man silang nagtataka ni Mom ay hinayaan lang nila akong umiyak habang yakap sila.

I think this is the after life kaya nandito si Mom at Dad. I'm glad that I killed myself dahil makakasama ko na sila. I will happily live with them.

"Sorry for the disturbance jefe, jefa. Mr. Fuentez is here to visit the miss." Sabi ng maid. Bigla akong napatigil nang marinig ang apelyido ng asawa kong nagtaksil at nagpahirap sa akin. Si Benard Fuentez.

What the fvck does this mean? Even in after life he's following me? I fvcking killed myself to get myself away from him and now he's here?!

"Since you're alright now, Rosan. You should meet the young man downstairs. Ilang araw ka na niyang binibisita para kamustahin ka. He's worried after he heard that you lose consciousness while working." Sabi ni Dad pero umakto akong biglang sumakit ang ulo ko.

"I don't feel well, Dad. Please understand." Sabi ko.

"Let our daughter rest first, please." Sabi ni Mom kaya napabuntong hininga naman si Dad.

"Okay fine, I will tell him to visit some other time. But make sure to face him at the banquet, Rosan." Sabi ni Dad.

"Banquet? What banquet?" I asked.

"Your engagement banquet with Benard, Rosan. Don't tell me you forgot." Biglang nanlaki ang mata ko.

What?! Engagement banquet? Does this mean hindi ko pa asawa si Benard dito? What the heck is happening?

"W-What date is it today?" I asked. Kunot noo naman akong tinitigan ni Dad. Pero kahit nagtataka sila sa kinikilos ko ay sumagot sila.

"It's the 17th of May today." Sagot ni Mom.

"Year?"

"It's 20**," sagot ulit ni Mom kaya nanlaki ang mata ko. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, next month nakatakda ang kasal namin ni Benard. On July my father will die because of heart disease and my mother will die in September. Benard's people killed her. What the fvck is happening? Bakit ako bumalik ng anim na buwan bago ang kamatayan ko?

"Rosan are you alright?" Mom asked worriedly.

"I-I don't know," I answered.

What the fvck is this? Did I come back to life? Or this is just an illusion that death created for me?