What Once I Was

Chapter 7 - 20 years ago

My eyes stung and watered as I, almost blinded, chopped a yellow onion for the curry I'd started preparing ten minutes prior. No matter how many tips and tricks I'd found, I still could not cut an onion without weeping and nearly losing a finger.

Naomi sat at the dining table, tongue poking out as she scribbled in the lines of the Powerpuff Girls pictures I'd spent the afternoon printing. Felt tip pens  littered the top of the table their lids scattered across the wood and the floor. I'd lost count of how many times I'd warn her that their lids needed to be kept on or else they'd dry out. There was no winning in a battle against a small child.

The vegetables washed and prepped I left them sizzling in the wok momentarily while I watched Naomi at work. She loved arts and crafts, though tried exceptionally hard to keep herself clean.

"Mummy you're in my way." She scolded wriggling from my grasp.

I chuckled softly returning to the stove. The CD player I'd convinced Robert we needed sat on the worktop, the various voices of the members of Westlife filling the room. I hummed along as I scraped the chicken into the wok with the vegetables and gave them a stir with a spatula.

Naomi jiggled in her seat along to the tune of World of Our Own, her favourite song. I smiled, my back turned to her, as she sang the words - incorrectly as usual.

Curry mix now stirred in with the meat and vegetables, I turned the hob's switch to full ready to cook the rice; something I had yet to perfect despite my best efforts.

"Mummy look. I drawed this for daddy."

Naomi held her masterpiece in the air, proud smile on her face. The paper, a concoction of greens, blues and pinks, was crumpled and torn slightly where she'd pressed to hard with her pens at times.

"Daddy is going to love it MiMi," I smiled pinning her work to our fridge. "Why don't you tidy your pens away ready for dinner. That would make daddy super happy too."

Naomi bounced up and down, scooping pens and lids into her hands before depositing them into their basket with her paper. She was a true daddy's girl, always willing to please him. It was hard not to be jealous of their relationship.

"Go and wash your hands, dinner's almost done."

I barely finished my sentence before the sound of her bare feet padding up the stairs filled the house. I could just make out the gentle scraping of her stool on our bathroom floor before water cascaded; a clear indication she had once again turned the faucet on full blast.

I took to laying the table and clock watching while Naomi pottered about above me. Robert was due home any moment. Just as I placed the steaming dish of curry onto the table next to the poppadoms and naan bread, the front door opened and Naomi bounded down the stairs.

"Daddyyyyy!" She screeched.

I winced as she threw herself down the last few steps into Robert's awaiting arms. Their laughter floated towards me. Robert's face was lost in her neck as he blew raspberry after raspberry earning countless squeals of delight.

I ate in silence listening to Naomi tell Robert about her day, about what she was going to do at school the next morning. About anything she could all at once, a slurry of words with no pause for breath. Robert muttered the occasional "huh", "no way" and "that sounds great Buttercup" between mouthfuls of his dinner.

"I drawed you a picture daddy."

"Wow Buttercup! There's no way you did this by yourself, mummy definitely helped you didn't she?" He winked at her making a show of looking at the scribbled page from all angles.