My Heart or My Head

Chapter 1

Harry's POV
If you asked Harry where he saw himself 2 years from the day that they formed One Direction, he would have said it didn't matter where the band was because he knew he would always have Louis by his side. Louis Tomlinson 1/5th of One Direction and someone who Harry deemed to be the person he was closest to in the whole world.

They pair had first met in the bathrooms when auditioning for X-Factor and hit it off instantly. From the outside looking in it almost appeared as if there was a magnetic force that was pulling these two together. When they got put into the band together their friendship only blossomed from then on. It was LouisandHarry attached at the hip. They decided to move in together after the X-Factor house stating that it would be the best time, two best friends living together, they would have many adventures and memories together.

But the truth of the matter is that Harry and Louis haven't been close in over 5 months and Harry has no idea why...

It started slowly but then gradually happened all at once. There were days in between when they would hang out and then eventually they stopped texting well Harry would text Louis daily but Louis would either give one word responses essentially ending any conversation or not at all. It is now to the point of Louis making plans with the boys but always "forgetting" to invite Harry. It left Harry wondering what he did wrong to make his best friend in the entire world not want to talk to him anymore.

So that brings us to 11pm on another Friday night, where Harry is left alone at home while Louis is out with Zayn. Harry stopped waiting for his best friend to return to their shared flat on nights like these because more often then not, Louis would crash at one of the other boys houses. However on this particular night Harry noticed Louis house keys laying on the coffee table. Harry pulled his phone out of his sweatpants pocket and pulls up Louis contact.

"Hi Lou i noticed your keys on the table, do you need me to stay up to let you in or are you crashing at Zayn's?" Sliding his phone back in his pocket Harry decided to climb into his bed and play a movie to keep himself busy, and await a response from Louis that Harry knew all to well was not going to come.

It was 2 am when Harry heard laughter coming from the outside their front door, sliding out of his bed and throwing on a pair of sweats Harry decided to go investigate. Peeking through the peep hole Harry's heart sank when he saw the sight in front of him. His 4 supposed good friends all wasted, he thought it was just supposed to be Louis and Zayn tonight, but it turns out the 4/5 members of the band were present and seemly having a good time without Harry. Harry feels tears welling up in his eyes as he wonders why nobody in the band wanted him to be there.

"Harry open the door" Louis shouts from the other side shaking Harry from his thoughts. Harry slowly opens the door making awkward eye contact with Louis and he pushes on past Harry followed by the other 3 boys. "So Li, Ni, Z what movie are we watching?" Louis asked as if Harry wasn't even there. "Um you choose" Niall says awkwardly giving Harry a sympathetic look. Harry just rolls his eyes and walks off to his room slamming the door shut, making his way into his bed and pulling the thick duvet over his head as he lets the tears fall from his eyes. The pain of 5 months of feeling like an outcast, like he wasn't needed or wanted overwhelming him. Part of Harry just wanted to leave, to leave One Direction, leave this house, leave his friends, some days Harry really just wanted to leave his world.

....

The next morning Harry woke up and slumped his way into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, peaking his head into the living room on his way he saw Louis sitting on the couch his face in his phone laughing at whatever was on his screen. "Morning Lou" Harry said quietly. "Yeah um Hi" Louis muttered. "Lou can we um can we talk please?" "No leave me alone Harry you are so goddamn clingy." Swallowing the lump that was building up in Harry's throat he leaves the room and heads into the kitchen.

15 minutes later as Harry is making breakfast Louis enters the kitchen. "The boys and I are going out for the day, I'll probably crash with one of them tonight." Louis mutters. "Oh can i come?" Harry asks eagerly. "No Harry we don't want you there." Louis snaps. "Why do you hate me Lou?" Harry sighs in defeat.

For a while Louis just sits there in silence saying nothing staring at his hands, until he finally whispers "I don't hate you" before walking out of the house.

....

"I can't do this anymore, i can't keep feeling like i am unwanted by my friends, my band mates, the people i thought would always have my back no matter what" Harry cried to himself later that afternoon. Harry picked up his phone and decided to call his mum.
"Hello"

"Hi mum..."

"Harry love what's wrong?"

"I can't do this anymore, i don't want to be here, they all hate me."

"Who hates you?"

"Louis, Liam, Zayn, Niall. The boys they never want me around." Harry sniffles. "Mum i wanna come home"

"Oh my sweet boy i don't know what's going on but you are always welcome home"

"Today Mum i need to leave this place. I need to leave the band."

"Harry that is a huge step why don't before you take any drastic steps you come home a visit."

"Okay.."

After hanging up the phone with his mum, Harry heads to his room to start packing. Not knowing how long he will be gone Harry packs two suitcases full of clothes and his essential items before heading to the kitchen and leaving a note for Louis.