My Heart or My Head

Chapter 2

Louis POV

Later that evening Louis returned home to a quiet house. Sighing Louis went to go check on his best friend, he knows he's treating Harry terribly.  But it's not his fault, what a lie it's all his fault, but it's not his choice he is just trying to protect the curly headed boy who he cares so deeply about. Louis cares so much for Harry, and he is doing everything in his power to ensure that Harry can have his dream and not have Louis hold him back anymore then he already has.

Before heading upstairs Louis stops off in the kitchen after searching the entire house for a curly haired lad when he spots a note taped to the fridge.

Dear Lou,

I am leaving and I will come back for the rest of my stuff one day soon. Please give me space and don't come look for me. Ha not that you would... You hate me now Lou...

I don't know what happened to us Lou... but I hurt every damn day thinking I did something to make the one person who I care about the most in this world hate me. So please know I am sorry for whatever I did to hurt you.

I don't know much but one thing I do know is that One Direction and you would be better off without me. I know you guys would rather I not be around, I am just some dumb kid. So just know that no matter what I loved you Lou more that you could ever imagine and even if I am not your friend anymore you will always be my best friend. I'm sorry Lou... I don't even know if I should call you Lou anymore.

Goodbye Louis...

Lots of Love,
Harry.

Louis falls to the floor he fucked up and he knows it. Thick tears are streaming from the sad blue eyes. I am so sorry Hazza... i don't hate you i am just trying to protect you from me... Shaking Louis pulls out his phone from his pocket, pulling up Zayn's contact, pressing the call button.

"Hello"

"Z-Zayn, h-he's g-gone"

"What do you mean Louis who's gone?"

"My Hazza.... He's leaving and not coming back"

"What did you expect Louis... you have been treating him like absolute shit."

"Zayn you know why! You know i had no choice!!"

"I know Lou, I know... Look let me call him and see where he is at least make sure he is okay."

"Thanks Zayn.."

"Louis... it's going to be okay... i promise"

Louis hangs up the phone, all the anger and hurt that has been building up inside him for the last 5 months breaching the surface. Louis pulls up Simons contact and presses call.

"You have reached the voicemail of Simon Cowell please leave your name and number after the beep. *BEEP*"

"He left and its all your fucking fault you selfish asshole. I hurt the boy that i am in love with because of you! You made him leave! He thinks i hate him because of you! You told me you would protect him! You liar! YOU LIAR! I HATE YOU!" Louis breaks down, tears streaming down his face as he crumples into himself and the phone falling from his hands, his eyes closing as he let the numbness take over his body.

....
"Louis come on mate his been three day's i need you to try and get out of bed" Zayn calls from outside of Louis door. Louis just crawls further into the blankets he has buried himself into. "Zayn mate this isn't healthy we need to do something" Liam whispers. "No shit Li, what do you think i am doing" Zayn snaps back. "Guys this isn't helping stop fighting, Louis needs our support not us getting at each other's throats."

"Can you guys shut up and go away!" Louis shouts. "Louis mate come on let me in." Zayn pleads. "No i want to be alone." "Louis i am worried about you." Zayn sighs. "Zayn how about you go find Harry instead and make sure he is okay, he is the one who needs friends support not me." Louis shouts.

"Louis we are trying mate i promise." Niall reassures.

In the three days, Louis has spend locked up in his room, he has been trying to forget, forget how bad he hurt the one person he was trying to protect in the first place. He made a decision 5 months ago that he now has to live the with consequences of those choices.

*Flashback*

"Simon what did you want to see me about?" Louis asks entering Simon's office. Simon points to the chair /in the corner of the room."Please sit down and close the door" Louis closes the door and walks over to the chair making himself comfy. "What's this about?" "Louis you know i only want what's best for you boys right?" Simon smiles. "Uh yeah" Louis face contorts. "Well look, i know you care about Harry and you two are well close..." "Yeah he's my best friend what's going on? Is Harry okay?" Simon sighs.

"Listen Louis... somethings need to change with you and Harry..."

*end flashback*

Louis stands up and makes his way slowly to the door. "I just want Harry" Louis cries. The three of them pulls Louis into a group hug. "I know Louis and we will figure this out i promise you." Liam rubs Louis back. "Have any of you tried to reach out to his mum?" Louis questions. "we tried Louis but she just said she is sorry and she couldn't talk right now and ended the call." Niall explains.

"Maybe i should try?" Louis sighs defeatedly. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" "Well what do you want me to do Li? Just stand by and wait? I can't do that! I get it i fucked up! I am the one who hurt him i know that and I don't fucking need you reminding me every god damn minute how much i fucked up! He is MY best friend Liam not yours." Louis shouts pushing his way out of the hug and storming down the stairs and out the front door slamming it shut behind him.