Neutral Through Chaos

Chapter 12: A Useless Attempt

"We really do," I smiled bittersweetly.

"Would you like to explain first?" he asked, smiling at me encouragingly.

Fighting back tears, I began to explain to him where my story began; when he had left. Voice trembling, I detailed the scene at the bridge, how my family had died fighting there. Viktor clearly hadn't heard this news, I saw a single teardrop fall down his cheek as he processed the sudden grief.

"You were only a child, y/n," he muttered, voice cracking in pain, "I'm sorry you had to lose them, that I wasn't there to help you."

Tears filled my eyes as I began to shake  uncontrollably. This pent up agony was finally being released. Viktor reached his arms over, hugging me tightly as I sobbed onto his shoulder. He had grown up around my family, looking after me when they had had busy days working at the docks. This man was someone I had aspired to be, his memory giving me strength through my darkest moments. And now he was here, his gentle arms grounding me as I broke down. I felt like a child again.

"What did you do afterwards?" he inquired gently, breaking away from the hug and gazing at me with kind eyes.

I explained to him how I had made a name for myself in the Undercity, a runaway using their prior knowledge of technology to assist others. Without Viktor, I wouldn't have succeeded just as well, he had taught me all I knew. His eyes glistened as he beamed at me, his student had blossomed into a great inventor.

"I'm proud of you, y/n," he murmured.

Pride filled me, overjoyed at the thought that my role model admired my accomplishments. Now feeling brave enough to detail the rest, I continued on with my story. It hurt me greatly to tell him of my childhood friends. How the enforcers had pursued us relentlessly and how a crime lord had eventually inadvertently caused their deaths. I shook as I recounted the events, Viktor outstretching a comforting arm and placing it on my shoulder. Explaining that day was certainly a gut-wrenching experience, Viktor's face was filled with concern as he looked at me, nodding encouragingly nevertheless.

"That's it, they all died. Mylo, Claggor and Vander. All gone just like that," I said, looking blankly at the floor, "And a part of all of us died that day. The survivors. I still don't know what happened to Vi, I hope to god she's ok."

"I'm so sorry for your losses," sighed Viktor, "Not a day went by where I didn't think of you, y/n. You wouldn't have had to go through all of that pain if I had just stayed. "

It was horrible to think that we were so close yet so far away, Viktor's life had been progressing so well while mine was falling apart. Trying my best to hold back more incoming tears, I gathered my thoughts.

"Please don't blame yourself Viktor," I assured him, "I was the one who got you to attend the Academy, you couldn't have known."

"I suppose that is true, but there was more I could've done," he exhaled, putting his face in his palms for a moment before looking back up in abrupt realisation.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is this crime lord you speak of? It might be helpful in finding out who was behind stealing the crystal and research."

Panic rose in my chest. Silco and I had an alliance of sorts, and breaking it would undoubtedly lead to outrage. Not only from Silco's delinquents, but also from other members of the Undercity. Betraying his trust would be fatal, and I would also put Jinx at great risk of getting caught. As much as I loved Viktor, this was for his own good.

"I'm sorry Viktor, I can't tell you that," I muttered.

His look of confusion quickly changed to worry.