Until I found you again (Complete)

The truth

TAY POV

I got home and just go straight to my room to clear my mind. I decided to go home than to stay in condo cause I can't really think straight right now. What is really the best thing to do! Why the hell am I still alive if this fucking life is so hard for me.." I said then throw the pillow..

Before I could react I heard a knock on my door, I compose myself before opening it because I know that it's my parents. When I open the door I saw my dad who look serious.

Tay can we talk in private? In the garden I guess.." He said I'm confused because I thought he will question me the moment he saw my eyes but he just said something that I suddenly feel the tension.

Dad is that an important matter?.." I asked but he didn't anwer me instead he just go the garden so I silently follow him. He sat in one of our bench so I sit with him when he passed the envelope to me.

W-What is this dad?.." I asked then look at my dad who is looking at the sky I stared at the envelope and saw that it was written for me.

I-Is it for me?.." I continuesly asked because of curiosity then my father look at me.

Yes it's for you and It's from your brother and I think he written that while he still can in the day of his death and hide it..." My dad said who's looking at me quietly while I stared at the letter for so long before my dad talk again.

I didn't know anything on what's happening to you son but I know for sure that your brother is not happy right now..." My dad continue and fell silent while tapping my shoulder. I tried to control my emotions right now cause I don't want them to worried about me again but..

I didn't want to hide my feeling anymore so I start crying in front him, this is the first time that I cry in front of my dad again after the death of my brother, my dad didn't even surprise instead he just pull me in his side then comfort me, I realized that I really need this comfort even before when I lose my direction when my brother died. Even if I'm strong outside my parents will be my forever shield in this pain. Especially right now that I'm really confused on what to do anymore.

How can I be happy dad?.." I stop to look at my dad.

I just betrayed the only brother I have, how can I be happy when I didn't have a chance to explain my side, how can I be happy when I didn't give him a chance to get to know about the person that he's inlove with. How can I be happy when I acted selfish to P'Yat while he gave everything to me..." I said while crying.

Do you really think he didn't know anything?.." My dad said which make me surprise, he then wipe my tears.

I didn't know everything in both of your situations but I can assure you that your brother already knows everything son." Then put his hand in my head.

Do you know that he make me promise on one thing for you..." Then dad look at me with his sincere eyes but I look at him with a confused face.

W-What do you mean dad? I don't get anything you said..?" I asked but instead my dad look at the sky.

You should read that letter of your brother then we will talk again.." He said then he keep quiet from my side as if he just waiting for me read it.

I look at the envelop that my dad gave to me. As I opened it my hands keep trembling but I don't know why. When I open the white paper inside its P'Yat handwritten so I pull it then spread it fully so I can read all of the writtern words. I look at it with so much trembling as if my heart will leave my body because it beat so fast.

Letter

To my dearest brother Tay,

            Probably when you read this I'm already gone on your side and for sure you already know that I am sick right? I'm really really sorry for not telling you about my disease as I don't want you to worry about me too much, I just don't want you look at me in my worst time because I know for sure I will not take the pain to look at you feeling hurt seeing me this way.