Until I found you again (Complete)

Always him

TAY POV

Do you still love that person right?.." My dad asked to break the silence.

Or should I asked Do you still love New Thitipoom?.." Which make me surprised.

D-Dad how did you know that? How did you know New..? Don't tell me off tell you..? I continue to ask my dad and he just smiled.

No.."

Not off but actually it's your brother..." He started. Wait did P'Yat told dad too.

Remember when I said that your brother make me promise one thing. Actually your brother talk to me a week before he died, I felt like he already knows that he will leave us any soon and you know what he ask me to make a promise about you falling in love for a man..." my dad said who empathize the word man.

Your brother said that maybe once he died I will not accept you that way so he advance it to me first, but he remind me to let you tell it us first than to question you. He just want you to open it us first as he know that it's really hard to come out in front of your parents. So I just agree on that and promise to him that I will not ask any questions about that matter to you. So I keep waiting and waiting until your ready but you never open it up so your mom said to talk to you now as we see you keep carrying it all again son. You think we don't see it but when you cameback from the US you changed again it's like you put too much pressure in yourself again..." He said. I still looking at my dad and I saw the pain my dad eyes. It's like he's really getting the pain that I have right now. I'm really sorry that they have suffering too because of me, because of how I acted and how I decide to myself alone.

At one time your mom and I decided to check on you at your dorm cause we felt that you maybe need us but then we saw you accidentally at the coffee shop near at your condo.

D-did you visit me?.." I asked surprisingly.

Yes.. I want to call you but your mom stop me and said to look at the other person with you. When I look at it there is someone in front you who is writing something in his book but then when I look at you again I realize that he's the person that your brother talking about.

W-what do you mean Dad?.." I asked again.

You know why I know that he is the one already? because of how you stared at that person with so much love and admiration at the same time your eyes shouting pain and regret that we realize you found him again, the person that you are longing for a long time.

D-Dad.." I said almost crying.

Tay if you keep doing this to yourself  again and again your brother will not be happy anymore and will not get a peace at heaven, so please stop blaming yourself anymore and move forward to the person you love..." My dad said then tap my shoulder. I just look at my dad and lean my back at bench while looking down.

P' never did something to me that will not make me happy dad and you all witnessed it.

And maybe that's the reason why I can't forgive you and mom that time, you guys could just told me earlier or you could just warn me before hand so I atleast prepared myself and maybe I also will not have any regrets in myself. But I know It's still my fault as I'm really stupid and idiot for not noticing everything. But as you said that maybe my brother really wants me to be strong and contented to what I have now so I have to right? And for you and mom so you could make a peace in your heart now and you don't have to worry about me again.." Then I smiled to my dad who is now smiling too a smile that a very genuine to me.

But it's different to New dad, that's the only wish that I will never fulfilled for my brother.." I saw how my dad eyes flickered a little.

Dad you know what I'm really in love with this man ever since I've known him, I can't even forget him even if I die. At first I'm scared too, what if you found out that I love someone whose same gender as me I'm scared I will make you disappointed and that's one of the reason why it's really difficult for me to introduce New back then. So I choose to keep silent first until I'm ready to face it. But in the end before I could introduce him to mom and dad I hurt him so badly to the point that he will never forgive me.." I said while while stuttering. Suddenly my dad put his arm in my shoulder and asked.