Boy Toy [Kakashi x Reader +18]

7 🍋 Kakashi

I hadn't had any long mission away for a long time now. I spent my days either training, reading, or yes, doing missions, but they would only last for a day. To keep it short, I hadn't left the village for a long period of time; the same amount of time I had been... frustrated. 

I had always been a 'closeted pervert' like Obito once called me, and although he didn't have a reason to say that, I do admit I was prone to being... uh, horny if you will. But always being alone and not interested in anybody, plus the fact that I also didn't want to get involved with anybody,  made my libido be limited to my books and imagination. And I always thought it would be like that forever, doomed not to have what I wanted and partly because of myself. But then something I always thought impossible happened, something I once dreamed of but ended up pushing deep to the back of my mind. Hiding it so I wouldn't hurt myself. 

Not only had (Y/n) acknowledged me and chose me to be with her once, but she also wanted to do it again. And again, and hopefully again and again until forever. Of course though, many things weren't as great as I had imagined them as for her I only seemed to be a mere way of relief, a toy. I tried to see her in the same way, in the way we had agreed to have this relationship. But it just was impossible and only caused more problems than resolved them. 

As I said, it had been a long time since I had been with (Y/n) that way, and it wasn't because I didn't want to. The last time we were together was when she came back from her mission. It was also that time when I tried to adopt her perspective of our relationship, to treat her like she had been treating me. But first of all, it was immensely difficult for me to be like that. At first, it wasn't, I was mad at her because the way she always discarded me quickly hurt me. And I was even angrier because I actually had no reason to feel that way. That was what I had agreed to, what I had initially accepted as the price to be with her. But still, deep down, I wanted her to feel the same way I did and maybe, hopefully, she would start seeing me in the same way I saw her. But I couldn't, I couldn't see her as an object, I couldn't be rough to her without caring for her at the same time, I couldn't act detached to her, not want her close. I just couldn't, and that was why I left so quickly as well. I was embarrassed, and I needed to think because I was still angry. But to my surprise, (Y/n) never reached for me again. And every time I saw her she didn't seem to see me, or just had something else to do or someone else to talk to. 

I didn't mind at the beginning, I wanted to give her space and she could do whatever she wanted. But time passed, and she didn't even talk to me, and whenever I had the slightest idea of approaching her she would frown and leave, or just turn around and ignore me for someone else. And it got to a point where I just knew it wasn't a coincidence anymore and she must have been pissed off at me for some reason. Which only did but make me angry again because she could just tell me what was that annoyed her, and if she wanted to end things... Well, it would definitely make me want to disappear from planet earth, but I'd rather that than her ignoring me while we still had our agreement going on. If I had fucked up again I at least wanted her to tell me personally. 

So when after trying to find (Y/n) all day because of her smoothly avoiding me, I saw her at a bar from the street, I, of course, couldn't help myself but enter. She was talking to two of the 4 people that were seated with her, giggling and seemingly happy while drinking from a probably alcoholic drink. It somehow annoyed me even further because what if she and some of the guys in the group ended the night together? We were sexually exclusive, but things were weird between us and she was partying/drinking like she always did whenever I used to see her leaving with other people in the past. 

But as soon as I stepped into the bar I kind of confirmed my suspicions because even though she didn't seem to have seen me she quickly excused herself into the bathroom avoiding even gazing at my approaching figure. I followed her nevertheless, and although I hesitated at the sight of the only women's toilet, I entered anyway.