La Bikina: Through The Years

1921: left with him

"Six months?!" she yelled. "You want to go off for six months?!"

"Imelda, please," he rubbed his temple tiredly. "I don't want to leave you, but I have to do this."

"Oh, you have to leave us?" She challenged, her words dripping sarcasm.

"Please, Imelda, I've told you before, I'm doing this for you. Ernesto wanted to leave for a whole year, but luckily I convinced him to cut the trip in half."

"Oh yes, I'm so lucky my husband is abandoning me for half the year and not a full one."

At that, Hector's patience snapped. "I don't want to leave, why can't you understand that?! I wish I could stay! But I need to go, I need to try!"

"But to do that you're leaving me and Coco! How is that a rational decision?!" She yelled even louder, angrier now that he was arguing with her.

"It's my chance to make it big!" He defended, never once backing down. "I'm doing this for you and Coco, don't you see?! I promised you so much more than this, Imelda. I know I can do it, I know the world wants to hear my songs, and I'll come back and everything will get better! More money, and we wouldn't have to worry so much about expenses, and we can support Coco when she grows up--"

"Without a father?!" Imelda interrupted. "You keep on leaving, and nothing ever changes–"

"Everything will change this time, I know it–"

"And what if it doesn't?!" she exploded. "It never does! It never has!"

"I still need to try! I can't just stay here doing nothing!"

"Being with your family is not nothing," she glared, her eyes full of unshed tears that threatened to fall at any moment. Pure willpower and pride kept them at bay. "Are we not important to you anymore? Is Ernesto a better use of your time than we are? You spend all day with him, and now you want to spend nights too, and we'll be here, alone—"

"I'm doing this for you, don't you see?! Everything I do, I do for you! All my thoughts, my words, my songs, they're all for you and Coco! I'm only doing this to support you, so we can have a better life!"

"I don't want a better life!" She yelled. "I just want you!"

The venom in her tone was a stark contrast against the meaning of her words. Yet, it was true. More than anything, that was all she wanted.

"I just want you," she repeated silently, and she hated how choked her voice sounded, how weak and vulnerable the words came out.

But Hector pulled her close to him and held her tightly, and she hadn't been able to resist, no matter how angry she was at him. Underneath the anger, there was sadness, there was grief, there was a tiny voice that told her she wasn't a good enough reason to stay. And even deeper underneath, there was fear. Fear at being left alone, fear he wouldn't come back, fear the voices in her head were right.

She shut her eyes tightly and burrowed her head in Hector's chest, and he held her even closer, strong arms securely wrapped around her.

And she allowed herself a single tear, but one turned into many, and involuntarily, she started crying, her body heaving with sobs.

"I just want you," she whispered through her tears, sounding half-strangled.

"I'll always be with you, mi amor," he whispered quietly into her hair. "I'll never leave you. And when I do, I'll always come back. I promise."

They stayed in the embrace for hours, her tears never subsiding, his embrace never loosening.

They could do nothing but hug and kiss through their mutual tears the entire night, because come morning, Hector grabbed his guitar and he left. 

And she was left alone, the cold January wind howling outside, his side of the bed heartbreakingly empty, and the music that used to fill the house, and the laughter that always came with it, left with him.