Self proclaimed monsters (Loki x reader)

19. Trauma response

(Warning: themes of suicide and blood, please skip this chapter if it is too depressing)

When you wake up you're still laying on the floor in the cell but you can control your body and you're back in human form. You shakily Stand up. When you look down at your hands you see they're covered in blood from the floor. You really hope it's yours. But probably not

You go over to the corner of the room and curl up in as tight of a ball as you can and sob hard just letting it all out. You loose track of how long you stay there sobbing but at some point loki shows up next to you. You attempt to push him away.

"Go away, I don't want to hurt you"

You feel the tears flowing harder.

"I will not leave you love, I know you would never hurt me."

He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his lap sitting on the floor with you. You cuddle into him.

"Loki get out of there, she's dangerous"

That's a guard and you start to pull away from Loki but he holds you tighter to him.

"That's an order"

Loki waves his hand and the man is suddenly stuck to the ceiling.

"She is  not the only dangerous being in this room, and I am a god, I do not take orders from mortals"

With that he picks you up in his arms bridal style and teleports the two of you upstairs to his room.

"What do you say you take a nice warm bath while I make tea, and then we'll sit and have tea and read poetry?"

You nod your head, that does sound really nice and you feel disgusting. Then you stop.

"Wait, shouldn't I be locked up?"

"No baby it's okay you're not in trouble, it's not your fault (y/n)"

You feel the tears start again after you finally got them to stop and you can't restrain them. You fall to your knees sobbing.

"It's all my fault! It's all my fault! I couldn't make it stop!"

Loki gets down to your level and wraps his arms around you.

"I promise you love, it's not your fault. It won't happen again we have the scepter."

You just lean into his chest and continue to cry. He stays there with you until you run out of tears. You just lean against him until he convinces you to get up and take a nice warm bath to calm you down. He helps you up and to the bathroom.

When you get in there the bath is already drawn, nice and warm, there's a towel and clean clothes on the sink for you. Loki gives you a hug and a kiss on the forehead before leaving the bathroom and closing the door behind him to give you privacy.

You peel of your bloodstained dirty clothes and lower yourself into the bath. The warm water feels nice but you can't get the sound of the screams and the bloody mess you caused out of your head. You wonder just how many people you killed.

You scrub your skin like it is the cause of what you did, you scrub until your skin is red and you still don't feel clean.

When you get out you dry off and put on the clothes Loki set out for you. Your favorite sleep shorts and an extremely soft forest green tunic that goes to halfway down your shins.

You slowly open the door to find Loki waiting for you, sitting on the end of the bed with two steaming cups of tea and a book. When he sees your red skin he vanishes the cups of tea and they reappear on the end table and leaves the book on the bed. He rushes over to you.