Fishwhacked: Reign of the Walrus Witch

Chapter 7

"I told you to watch out for that thing in the ground," Omno said.

"It's a little hard to notice the details of the swamp when I'm trying not to get hit with arrows," Ebb replied as they swayed upside down in the net of thick vines. The buzzing of insects was all around them, and the noon sun blared down brightly where it was able to penetrate the thick canopy. "Uck, my head hurts."

"Do people live here?" Omno asked, glancing at the thick, brown water.

"They used to, until people started disappearing, abducted by bandits or something. Everyone settled along the Jug River They're still harassed by bandits to this day," Ebb explained, trying to fight past her headache to recall the chunks of Drownvale history she recalled from school. A more active part of her brain added, "The fish in this water are so imbued with swamp stuff that you don't have to marinate them in anything to eat. It's gre- oh, god, I'm sorry. Is that, like, offensive to you?"

"Fish are eaten. They are part of the cycle," Omno responded. "Do spare me the details of the process, though."

"Right." Ebb grabbed at the nearby tree once more, in an attempt to pull the net closer to it and find some way to maneuver out, but her fingers couldn't reach far enough through the netting to get a grip on anything. "Damn it."

"Do you suppose we were caught by bandits?" Omno asked.

"Who else would it be? This trap is clearly man-made, and nobody else is insane enough to live here." Ebb heard a rustling and contorted her neck around in its direction. "Here they come."

"I don't see anyone." Omno stared straight out with one of his eyes, the other buried in Ebb's poncho. "The trees are moving, though."

"Crap. Do you think they trained some huge animal to come get their victims or something? What are we going to do?"

"I have good news," Omno said. "It's not a huge animal."

Ebb noticed movement in the trees. The thinner trees, a lighter color than the rest, began to contort and creak. Clouds of dirt were thrown up as the trees' roots erupted from the ground. The trees leaned forward and their branches lowered to their sides. Moving on their own, the trees took long strides with their roots and walked with a human-like gait. Ebb sighed.

The trees, their feet bundles of roots and their arms hefty branches, had smoothed areas free of bark where holes and ridges resembling human faces were. They all possessed three eyes, emitting a faint green glow that was clouded with red, and clumps of leaves that had been styled like hair. Tools and weapons made from bleached bones hung from their bark.

"You speak Drownvalish, yes?" the first tree to reach Ebb said. He had a clumsy accent and his voice sounded like a man trying to speak while trapped inside a tree trunk. Ebb stayed silent.

The other trees closed in. "Don't bother refusing to speak, we heard you shouting before."

Ebb, her guise shattered, replied, "What do you want from me?"

"Human female, appears to be from Peopleopolis, dumb enough to wander into a trap," another tree said. The tree next to him inscribed something onto a pink, rubbery scroll with a small, pointed stick tipped in red.

"I didn't wander into anything, your stupid archers chased us into it. I would have seen the dumb trap if I wasn't running."

The tree continued. "Human captive is also delusional. Wearing a gaudy poncho, has a plump fish in tow."

"Plump?" Omno repeated.

The trees murmured at one another. "Fish appears to be capable of speech. And self-esteem issues."