Fishwhacked: Reign of the Walrus Witch

Chapter 15

Ebb, Omno, Paistra, Yawp, Arbort, and Rocko found themselves in a completely featureless abyss. It wasn't infinite blackness, or infinite whiteness, but translucence in all directions. With no background color, it was unfathomable to anyone who hadn't seen it themselves.

"Guys?" Ebb asked. She looked around and saw her companions, the only things in the endlessness that possessed any color. "What the hell is this?"

Yawp motioned over, not quite walking, or floating, or swimming. "This is the third worst abyss I've ever been in." He prodded the nothingness with his hammer. The others converged and they formed a semblance of a gathering.

"Omno?" Ebb looked down at the fish hopefully.

"I have no idea what is going on," Omno replied.

Arbort put his hand on Rocko's shoulder and doubled over. "I am going to be sick."

"Please don't vomit," Paistra said. "Do vegetablokes vomit? I just don't want a mass of puke floating around with us. This is unpleasant enough."

"The mineralad religion tells us we will find salvation by digging. And so mineralad society revolves around digging or helping others dig. After expanses of dirt and stone, the legends say we will come upon a realm of absolute freedom, which some Milliners have interpreted as a hollow vacuum of eternal nothingness. I can return to Detrite and tell our scholars that paradise can't be anything resembling this, because I hate it and want to die," Rocko explained.

"I guess we couldn't trust the crone after all," Paistra said. "She trapped us in her damn crystal ball to tell our fortunes anyway."

A length of time later, a second or eons, indistinguishable in this void in which time didn't really exist, the vague appearance of matter came into being. The faintest of colors began to condense into a more and more solid setting, and as it grew realer, Paistra recognized it. "This is the castle! The throne room!"

Everyone felt stability form under their feet and they were eventually standing in a hazy recreation of the throne room, with bright daylight shining in through the windows and a bizarre variation of the Drownvale flag over the throne. The gentle iconography of an ocean and some boats was replaced with the shape of a shining fish in a sea of blood.

"What is this now? Come on," Ebb said. "The future," Ebb replied.

Ebb looked over at the throne, where the voice identical to hers had come from. A figure had appeared, sitting in it. It was Ebb.

This Ebb had her hair down and had gone hatless. Her poncho was tied against her body, rather than the amorphous shape that the regular Ebb had settled on. Her face was pristine and free of grease, and the newspaper scabbard was slung over her shoulder. A fish's tail poked out from its top.

"Um. Who are you?" Ebb asked, already kind of knowing the answer.

"We are your future," the new Ebb declared.

"We?" Ebb looked back to see other figures had appeared at doors around the room. Everyone stared uncomfortably at their doppelgangers.

Yawp's was a man who was somehow even bigger, whose eyepatch was replaced by a prosthetic eye made of bronze that would occasionally emit a puff of steam. He had ditched the hammer, carrying instead a jagged battleaxe with veins of light running through it. He had a beard hanging down to his loincloth, which he still wore, and it appeared to be the same exact one that regular Yawp was wearing.

The other Paistra was in an ornate gown, a crystal crown resting on her bun of hair, bearing a coat of arms featuring a slice of bread over her heart. Her face was haggard and gaunt. Her frail fingers were clutching a scepter, marked with colors that were not the colors of Drownvale.