Fishwhacked: Reign of the Walrus Witch

Chapter 20

"Do you want anything to eat?" El-Bo asked. "Er, all we really have is fish."

Ebb, sitting on a driftwood chair across from him with a matching driftwood table between them, looked down at Omno, and then said, "Um. No, thanks."

"I had to offer. Without our customs, we are no more than animals," El-Bo replied.

King Whatsit cleared his throat.

"Er. I only meant-"

"Enough." Whatsit stared down Ebb. "To recover those damned lures, face the monsters that lurk within the depths of Drownvale, to infiltrate my knights. You are as capable a Fishlass as your predecessor."

"Is that a compliment?"

"It can be, but carries with it some unpleasant implications." Whatsit focused on Omno. "How much have you told her?"

"All I could remember," Omno said. "The last Fishlass, nor my followers, wanted to tell me what was happening."

"So you don't even know. You don't even know that Ich, the man you chose to wield you in the name of justice and well-being for Drownvale, the land you retired to after creating the seas or whatever the legend is, you don't know that Ich was an aspiring tyrant. When I was away crushing the Scab Rebellion, your Fishlass Ich began conspiring with your cultists about overthrowing me and taking the throne in your name."

"I knew of no such thing," Omno said. "Maybe that was intentional. I never would have allowed it."

"Well, they got pretty far. The night I returned, Ich and a bunch of cultists ambushed me in the throne room. I guess it was curious that he was carrying a sword and not a fish. But I wasn't able to process many details like that when I was trying to not be killed. Ich proclaimed himself 'Fishmonger' and laid out his vision of a new Drownvale under the rule of the Fish God. I barely escaped with my life. The cultists got away. But Ich hanged."

El-Bo and Ebb glanced back and forth at Whatsit and Omno as they took turns speaking.

"Yes, your Chosen One," Whatsit accused.

"I..." Omno began. He sighed, a little rubbery wheeze from his fish mouth. "I'm sorry. It's two hundred years too late, but..."

"Hold on," Ebb said. "I'm sure you guys want to reminisce about the last few centuries, but I have some more immediate questions."

"My lady, to interrupt-"

"Quiet," she snapped at El-Bo. "What do you want with the Omnifish? And why are you... a fish-man?" She glanced down at Omno. "Was he a fish-man when you knew him?"

"The Fishlass makes a good point. When I last saw you, you were human. Overwhelmingly so."

"Hmm. Some might consider it rude to put a man on the spot about his gruesome inhuman features," Whatsit said. "Keep in mind that you are still surrounded by my knights. El-Bo himself is more formidable than he looks, as well. You are at my mercy."

Ebb stood up. "Maybe so. But at this point, I've learned that there's no way you being a fish-man isn't related to the Omnifish. So I stand by my question."

Whatsit cackled. His tail spasmed and sent clusters of bubbles to the top of the tank. His garbled guffaw echoed through the chamber. "I have spent centuries here surrounded by some very boring people who always do what I tell them. It's nice to have someone talk back."

"My lord, I could have talked back if you-" El-Bo began.

"Shut up!"

"Yes, my lord."

"Well, then. It's true, I was born human and spent my reign as king human. But then I underwent this transformation, made the world think I was dead, and hid away with my most loyal of followers, the ancestors of the men and women you no doubt encountered on the way in," Whatsit explained. He leaned back against the glass wall and drew circles in the surface of the water with his webbed, crooked finger.