Fishwhacked: Reign of the Walrus Witch

Chapter 10

"Good afternoon. Thank you for meeting me on such short notice... father? Brother?" The Head Milliner sat across from the red-robed man.

"Pinched."

"Pardon me?"

"I am Thymopthy the Pinched. It's an honor to have a scholar of your caliber here. Lobstifer bless you."

"Uh, same to you." Although being raised as a member of the Church of the Eternal Lobster, the Head Milliner had abandoned practice when he began his Milliner studies. The current trends in the church were alien to him.

"What can I help you with?" Thymopthy was old, even older than the Head Milliner. His robe was adorned with curved metal plates that resembled the exoskeleton of a lobster. A lobster claw ornament sat in the center of his hat, pointing upwards hopefully. His office was stocked with bookshelves and paintings of giant lobsters looking down upon human cities.

"I studied my share of religious philosophy and myth. But I don't remember covering this too much in my learning, and my library is coming up short. What can you tell me of... of Walros?"

Thymopthy's face darkened.

"I don't mean to offend you, I know you don't believe in him, but-"

"I do believe in Walros. The Eternal Lobster recognizes many of the Drownvale pantheon as existing gods." Thymopthy spun his chair around and scanned his bookshelf. "Here." He pulled out a beat-up tome and flipped through the pages.

The page at which he stopped was a beautifully painted image of the Drownvale pantheon. The continent of Idunno, with the nation of Drownvale surrounded by light, was at the bottom, and the sealife gods were looking down upon it. The lobster god, the squid god, the octopus god, and the whale god were the largest and in the center. They were surrounded by smaller depictions of the jellyfish god, the shrimp god, the fish god, and a smattering of demigods who were various species of fish. In the bottom corner, in the black depths, there were shadowy outlines. One of them had fierce, prominent tusks.

"No doubt this is about the new queen," Thymopthy said. The Head Milliner began to deny that, but Thym interrupted. "No, I feel the same. There are dark machinations at play. Walros has never had a formal church, only a loose gathering of cults. The other gods can be traced back to cults of the primitive tribes in ancient Drownvale. But Walros... I mean, walruses aren't even really sea creatures, right? The first appearance of walrus worship in Drownvale comes after the violent incursion of invaders from the frozen south. Their beliefs clashed with the other religions throughout Drownvale's history. The common churches are mostly content allowing one another to exist, save for the occasional spats between the squid church and the whale church, of course. But walrus worshippers have always shown hostility to anyone who refused to convert.

"Most churches do acknowledge the existence of the other gods, we just all have differing opinions on which one is the most important. It'd be great if they all wanted to join the Lobster Church but we're okay with letting them have their gods. But

Walros worshippers refuse to allow that freedom. They believe the only way to salvation is through the walrus and will do vicious things in the name of 'saving' their fellow man. And we believe this is a reflection of what is going on in the realm of the gods."

"And what would that be?" the Milliner asked.

"The gods are at war."

The Head Milliner's face was a stern wall of contemplation. "Thank you." He stood up and left.

Squirm was leaning against the front of the lobster temple. When he saw the Head Milliner, he pushed himself away from the wall and walked with him.

"That didn't really help much at all," the Head Milliner told him.